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iphignia939 May. 10th, 2012 09:53 pm)
iphignia939 May. 10th, 2012 09:53 pm)Okay: twenty-two weeks, the Mikaelsons, a pile of dead people, horrible torture, the world's most appropriate song choices, roughly twenty-six instances of me breaking down crying, and Elena! Finally! Chooses! Season finale, guys. BUCKLE UP.
So for those of you who have never experienced a TVD finale in real time, it's very simple: You know how every week, they pack like 24 separate things into a 42-minute episode? During finales, they double that. At least. So, uh--don't pee 'til a commercial, is what I'm saying.
1) AAAAGH FLASHBACKS LET'S HAVE A CHAT
Seriously, just--I started crying as soon as I saw Jenna, so we're...right on track for the finale re: me weeping like a bitch, I guess. And her mom! And just, honestly, the whole thing: Elena the cheerleader, who loved her parents and her aunt and got irritated when her stoner little brother locked himself in the bathroom, who liked and got pissed at Caroline, who liked Matt but didn't love him enough to say it back. And everything in the flashbacks is filmed so bright and warm and open, the way the show hasn't been since--well, the pilot, or part of it. Back when things made sense, when Elena Gilbert was just a girl and not the pivot on which the world turned.
Things were easier, then. And I wouldn't trade now for that, but I don't think it's so bad that we get to see it now and appreciate what's gone.
2) Damon and Stefan freaking out about Jeremy taking Elena to the hospital: THANK YOU. A lot of people want you dead, Elena! You know like thirty vampires! Borrow a cup of blood and stay home 'til it passes out of your system!
3) Aaaaaand then Evilric basically tells Meredith everyone's been outed to the Council, and oh, she's being reported to the state medical board. Not for using vampire blood, I'd assume.
4) I'm sorry, tea with vodka sounds disgusting.
5) Awww, MATT. Even back then you didn't get the girl. And you should, because you are great. (I keep having Matt/Rebekah feels, even though I know it is not good for me. That is what this show has done to me.)
6) Right around Elena apologizing to Matt is when I got the "uh, she's gonna die again this year, isn't she?" vibe. It reads a lot like an accidental goodbye. I really, really hope it's not.
7) Yeah, Evilric, way to go on wanting all vampires dead and serving beer to a minor. Good to know your lines are just as sketchy as your better predecessor's. Oh, wait, no, because that guy was amazing and you? Are a dick.
8) OH SHIT IT'S ELIJAH HI BABY HIIIIIIIIIIIIII
9) Elijah's plan: give him Klaus and he'll help put away Evilric 'til Elena dies in, oh, 60 years. (He promises not to undagger Klaus 'til after she's long-dead, and possibly her children, in the hopes that it'll learn his older brother some manners. Elijah is a lot like Stefan, in that regard.) This being Vampire Diaries, this plan will probably not work out.
10) On the other hand, Evilric offers to let himself be locked away until he dies...just as soon as the Originals are all dead. And again: TVD, this will not work.
11) Maybe the best thing about Elijah, to me (besides all the other things) is that he genuinely seems sorry for what he and his family have put Elena through. I don't know if we're ever going to find out that she's related to that girl he and Klaus fought over, but I'd bet real money he has feelings for her on some level.
(Possibly also because she looks like Katherine, who he was fond of a very long time ago. Vampires say they're above emotions, but really they're loaded with them; they just hide it behind higher walls.)
12) "He's my brother. We remain together." And that, I think, swayed Elena as much as anything else. God knows she has a soft spot for vampire brothers; she'd just rather not get stuck in weird power plays.
13) And THEN! Carol and Liz tell Tyler and Caroline they've been outed as vampires, and they need to run before the Council decides to re-enact Founder's Day 1864 in the middle of goddamned--whatever month this is, like this show follows a sensible calendar.
14) TRAP TRAP TRAPPITY TRAP TRAP.
15) Not that I am all for big strong men trying to protect Caroline, who is maybe the person on this show (other than Bonnie) least needing protecting--but good looking out, Tyler, high five.
16) "What do you need?" "Just you. Maybe a curling iron." UGH CAROLINE AND TYLER YOU ARE THE BEST.
17) "It's her call, Damon." "You know what else is her call? Everything bad ever." Now, now, don't leave out names. All of you have horrible plans! It's weirdly endearing, three years in.
18) Okay, box of Playboys, fine, but why in the name of God does Damon have old bird cages in there?
19) I like this line of reasoning better: it's not that Stefan was something Elena could have that wouldn't leave her, like her parents did. It's that he helped her come back when she thought she was going to be lost for a long, long time. And I still think she should choose herself, but Stefan is a decent fallback position as long as he doesn't get coked up on human blood again.
20) "You should burn in hell. But if you die, so do my friends. So does my mother."
Okay, a) nobody fuck with Bonnie Bennett, because holy shit look at that face, and b) I...should have seen it coming. But I didn't! Big ups.
21) Aaaaaand then Evilric jumps Damon, Damon refuses to tell him where Klaus is, and Evilric snaps his neck. That's enough out of you, mister. You're even, now.
22) "I over-honeyed. I suck at tea." Or that could be the roofies OH WHOOPS SPOILERS.
23) --because yeah, Jeremy and Matt totally drugged Elena's tea to get her out of town. Which, way to respect your sister/friend's agency, guys, but also: trying to take Elena anywhere out of that town tends to end horribly. Jesus Christ, you all have the memory retention of hamsters.
24) "The problem is Damon." Not shown: Matt, silently saying "this is not news" with just his face.
25) And then, because why not make me cry for basically half the goddamn show, the only reason Grayson and Miranda were out there that night was to pick up Elena, who'd ditched family night and had a fight with Matt and needed to come home early.
26) Watching Evilric stalk Rebekah through the storage area is fucking terrifying. You could not pay me to be in one of those things at night--seriously, daytime is creepy enough--and it's somehow worse to see a vampire being vulnerable, even if I remain not the world's biggest Rebekah fan.
27) (As a sidebar, I am starting to really dig on Rebekah and Damon: Hatebros. Seriously! They are kind of the same person, only with occasional sportfucking. I would laugh 'til I peed if they kind of ended up friends.) (Not like him and Ric, though, because I don't need my fucking heart broken again.)
28) I like that the one thing I take from the Ian Somerhalder Foundation other than--you know, it's a good, charitable work and should be commended and supported--is that it reminds me that Ian is, in fact, a crazy pet hoarder. Shut up, that is amazeballs.
29) Aaaaand then: Evilric stakes Klaus. (Not that this solves anyone's problem, as we will see.)
Dear Joseph Morgan: they really did not give you enough to do on this show. But between this and Immortals, and subtracting points for your awful hair on Hex, you are a lot better than they let you do. Which is sad, but not surprising, because Klaus never really had enough to do. (I'd still pay real money if you come back, somehow.) I'm going to miss you, sir, and I'll be keeping my eye out.
30) "An hour's not enough time to get back to Mystic Falls."
Which--yeah, okay, the Elena thing, but: this is the last time, as far as they know, that they're ever going to talk to each other. This is the best they've gotten along since that night Stefan dubcon'd Damon into transitioning, and it ends with them a hundred miles apart. I don't get any real sense of sadness from them, though: they've said it all. They've done every horrible thing they could possibly do to each other--mostly Damon to Stefan--and they've worked through it, occasionally at fang-point. They've been through Katherine, and Elena, and Klaus, and a hundred-and-fifty-plus years of hating the person you're stuck with.
If this is how it ends, they're okay with that. I think maybe they always thought it'd end worse. That maybe this is a gift.
31) --yeah, I'm just gonna get more purple as I go, it was a long fucking night. Check out now if you want, it's okay, no hard feelings.
32) And Elena only has time to choose one of them, so she does: Stefan. She admits she's choosing Caroline and Tyler and everyone else as much as him, but she loved Stefan first. Even if it was just down to Stefan and Damon--no others, just them--she'd choose Stefan. And I can respect that.
(Also, nice callbacks to the books, up through Dark Reunion after which THEY ALL WENT TO HANDMADE SHIT--ahem.)
33) "It's always going to be Stefan." Oh, look! Crying again!
See, that's--that's why I can't hate Damon, shit like that. Shit like last year, when Tyler's bite was killing him and Elena didn't know and asked for time to forgive him, and he smiled and said "of course" and wanted to go out his own way. Damon has a weird sense of self, broken down by 150+ years of missing Katherine and the shit over the last, what, 18 months (no, for real, the whole show has taken place over a year and a half. Minds: BLOWN) and rebuilt in small batches, like emotional risotto. (...I know, I know.)
He cares about people--not a lot of them, and no one as much as Elena or Stefan, but he does. He lost Rose last year. He lost Ric like three days ago. Everyone else can barely stand him on their best days, but he keeps fighting. He doesn't know why, but he does it anyway. He used to get freaked out by blood; he's still a little OCD about messes and dust and--I don't know, weird shit. He's an asshole, and he still gets pissy about having emotions, and he's learned how to give way gracefully. Sometimes.
And, you know, he still commits murders all the time, but he's still on baby steps, okay? Give him a break.
34) Aaaaand that's when I realize: even if Klaus was lying about everyone else being of his bloodline, Tyler sure as shit was.
35) ...you knew this was coming, right?
Tyler Lockwood used to be an asshole. He had a girlfriend, Vicki, who he liked but didn't love; certainly not enough to stand up for her when his douchebag dad the mayor and his drunk mother shit-talked her. He pushed Jeremy around. He was friends with Matt and played football, and got whammied a lot--not as much as Caroline, but a decent amount.
And then, one day, there was a party, and something happened. Something bad. A girl died. It was an accident. But something was different.
See, Tyler--and his dad (rest his soul), and his Uncle Mason (rest his soul, too)--was a werewolf, and the curse kicks off when you cause someone's death. It hurt. A lot. Tyler never cared for it; he was just as horrified to learn that his friend Caroline, who he liked (more than he should, since she was Matt's ex), was a vampire: a werewolf's mortal enemy. But he worked at it, and learned to deal with it, even if he could never embrace it. We do that a lot, people: we get by. We make do. Tyler did.
And then, one night, Klaus killed him. And Elena, in her own way, brought her back, but with a price: he was Klaus' to command, sired by him and not just changed. He never had to be a werewolf again, but he had to drink blood. No one could trust him, not even Caroline--Caroline, who he came back for, Caroline who he loved. It took him a long time to get over that: time alone, in the mountains. He broke every bone in his body a hundred times for the woman he loved, to get himself back. And it worked! It worked, because spells like that--with love, and sacrifice--always do.
And then Klaus died, and Tyler, being his child, felt himself start to go--start to go mad, the way it happens sometimes. And he told Caroline to run, because he couldn't control himself, and because he always loved her best.
But maybe that's not the end of the story. Maybe it's like with Rebekah and Esther, or Alaric and Klaus. Maybe Tyler's just in there, resting. I'd like to think so.
But just in case: To Tyler Lockwood. You were a better man than Tyler Smallwood ever was, honey. Please come back.
36) And then OH SHIT KLAUS IS IN TYLER'S BODY OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT CAROLINE IS GOING TO HURT SOME BITCHES WHEN SHE FINDS OUT
37) That said, I do like that Bonnie's like, "Fuck dead witches, you assholes keep yelling at me for bringing back my boyfriend but you make Alaric into the Terminator Original using my blood? Uh uh. Fuck that noise. I quit." YOU GUYS SHE MADE THE DARK PHOENIX FACE AGAIN, AND I MEAN THAT IN THE BEST WAY.
38) Yes, I teared up with Elijah, are you kidding me? Come back anytime, Elijah. Take time off from your new show! Stop in occasionally! PLEASE GOD STOP IN OCCASIONALLY.
39) ...so of course Rebekah's like, "Plan B: kill Elena and we get rid of Evilric." Goddammit, Rebekah, you were coming up on like ten whole minutes where I didn't hate you.
40) Damon, not to put salt in the wound here, but YOU ARE MAKING ME AGREE WITH EVILRIC, OKAY. He's not Ric. Ric's just waiting. This is something else.
41) And THEN OH SHIT DAMON MET ELENA FIRST OH SHIT
42) "It's Mystic Falls. Nothing bad ever happens here." Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh my GOD. I want that stitched on a pillow immediately. CafePress store, tote bags, the works. That is fucking amazing. That should be their motto. Funniest thing I've heard in three years on this show.
43) Watching Damon's "oh, shit, Katherine?" face is both great and horrifying, because you can see Foreshadowing back there, eating popcorn and slurping on a Coke.
44) I do love that Damon just...lies down in the middle of the road sometimes, for funsies. There is literally no reason for that. On the other hand, the man hides moonstones in potpourri in his bathroom and has bird cages in his storage unit. The ways of Salvatores are not for us to understand.
45) And then--no, it's actually very sweet, Damon outlining how Elena wants passion and a little bit of danger, and her little "it's a valid point" head-nod. Nice tip of the hat to the books, where Elena straight-up admits that while she loves Stefan, she will always be tempted by Damon because he appeals to the darkness in her. He's not her endgame, but you can't really say he's not her soulmate. Or one of 'em.
Aaaaaaand then Damon whammies her, because--dude, did you just assume Stefan was coming back? I know he was there that night, but what the hell? Elena's parents have been dead for months when the pilot starts, so did you two just hang out, circling each other like weirdoes?
...what am I saying, that's exactly what you did. UGH YOU GUYS SALVATORES ARE THE BEST.
46) Aaaaaaaaaand THEN: possibly one of the most beautiful, most horrifying things they've ever shown on this series. Stefan swims down to get Grayson out, but he waves him off to go save Elena; Elena does the same for Stefan to save Matt. He gave her a gift, once: he gave her her life. Gave it to her twice, really, by her estimation. Three times just seems greedy. And she loves Matt, too--as a brother, not a lover--and it's been a long night, and Elena will always, always choose someone else over herself.
And then Grayson (and Miranda, though we don't really see that; I suspect she never regained consciousness) slips away. And so does Elena.
47) AND THEN OH SHIT CRYING AGAIN Jeremy starts lighting into the Alaric-shaped form he sees in his doorway, asking how he even got inside--remember, no invite:
"I don't know. I wanted to say goodbye and it happened."
No pain. No tears. Just sort of baffled, like he doesn't know exactly how ghosts work; like Vicki Donovan didn't set his car on fire like a month ago. He's in the same clothes, but he's not the same man. Evilric was rage and hate and weapons; Alaric is--more free. A little sad, maybe, but his heart's not breaking. He said most of his goodbyes already; he's got time for one more.
"I just want you to know I'll always be with you. You'll never be alone."
And then he just--goes.
And a hundred miles away, in a storage unit, Evilric collapses. And Damon, who is a lot of things but stupid isn't one of them, starts screaming.
48) And THEN because this whole night has been a shitshow that makes last year seem like fucking--I don't know, Secret Life of the American Teenager or some shit--Damon shows up to see Elena's body, and Meredith drops the bomb that, I think, a lot of us deep down knew was coming:
She didn't have a concussion, she had a cerebral contusion. She would have died. And we all know what Meredith does for special cases, don't we?
49) And then--at the edges of Mystic Falls, where nothing bad ever happens--just off the Wickery Bridge, where her parents died more than a year ago, Elena Gilbert opens her eyes and gasps for air. Stefan just stares.
And she has a choice to make.
Next season: ...will probably not start 'til September, judging by the existing pattern, and we'll get the S3 DVDs about a week before, SO: Elena's a vampire! (Maybe.) Klaus is in Tyler's body! (Definitely.) Alaric's really dead! (Definitely, though feel free to come back as a ghost, Davis, and I will be watching Cult if the CW picks it up--dear CW: PICK IT UP, THE MAN NEEDS A JOB.) Bonnie's gone off the rails! (Kinda.) Matt Donovan is officially the only human left in town! (Essentially.)
The Vampire Diaries season 4: OH SHIT YOU GUYS ELENA GILBERT IS A MOTHERFUCKING VAMPIRE.
So for those of you who have never experienced a TVD finale in real time, it's very simple: You know how every week, they pack like 24 separate things into a 42-minute episode? During finales, they double that. At least. So, uh--don't pee 'til a commercial, is what I'm saying.
1) AAAAGH FLASHBACKS LET'S HAVE A CHAT
Seriously, just--I started crying as soon as I saw Jenna, so we're...right on track for the finale re: me weeping like a bitch, I guess. And her mom! And just, honestly, the whole thing: Elena the cheerleader, who loved her parents and her aunt and got irritated when her stoner little brother locked himself in the bathroom, who liked and got pissed at Caroline, who liked Matt but didn't love him enough to say it back. And everything in the flashbacks is filmed so bright and warm and open, the way the show hasn't been since--well, the pilot, or part of it. Back when things made sense, when Elena Gilbert was just a girl and not the pivot on which the world turned.
Things were easier, then. And I wouldn't trade now for that, but I don't think it's so bad that we get to see it now and appreciate what's gone.
2) Damon and Stefan freaking out about Jeremy taking Elena to the hospital: THANK YOU. A lot of people want you dead, Elena! You know like thirty vampires! Borrow a cup of blood and stay home 'til it passes out of your system!
3) Aaaaaand then Evilric basically tells Meredith everyone's been outed to the Council, and oh, she's being reported to the state medical board. Not for using vampire blood, I'd assume.
4) I'm sorry, tea with vodka sounds disgusting.
5) Awww, MATT. Even back then you didn't get the girl. And you should, because you are great. (I keep having Matt/Rebekah feels, even though I know it is not good for me. That is what this show has done to me.)
6) Right around Elena apologizing to Matt is when I got the "uh, she's gonna die again this year, isn't she?" vibe. It reads a lot like an accidental goodbye. I really, really hope it's not.
7) Yeah, Evilric, way to go on wanting all vampires dead and serving beer to a minor. Good to know your lines are just as sketchy as your better predecessor's. Oh, wait, no, because that guy was amazing and you? Are a dick.
8) OH SHIT IT'S ELIJAH HI BABY HIIIIIIIIIIIIII
9) Elijah's plan: give him Klaus and he'll help put away Evilric 'til Elena dies in, oh, 60 years. (He promises not to undagger Klaus 'til after she's long-dead, and possibly her children, in the hopes that it'll learn his older brother some manners. Elijah is a lot like Stefan, in that regard.) This being Vampire Diaries, this plan will probably not work out.
10) On the other hand, Evilric offers to let himself be locked away until he dies...just as soon as the Originals are all dead. And again: TVD, this will not work.
11) Maybe the best thing about Elijah, to me (besides all the other things) is that he genuinely seems sorry for what he and his family have put Elena through. I don't know if we're ever going to find out that she's related to that girl he and Klaus fought over, but I'd bet real money he has feelings for her on some level.
(Possibly also because she looks like Katherine, who he was fond of a very long time ago. Vampires say they're above emotions, but really they're loaded with them; they just hide it behind higher walls.)
12) "He's my brother. We remain together." And that, I think, swayed Elena as much as anything else. God knows she has a soft spot for vampire brothers; she'd just rather not get stuck in weird power plays.
13) And THEN! Carol and Liz tell Tyler and Caroline they've been outed as vampires, and they need to run before the Council decides to re-enact Founder's Day 1864 in the middle of goddamned--whatever month this is, like this show follows a sensible calendar.
14) TRAP TRAP TRAPPITY TRAP TRAP.
15) Not that I am all for big strong men trying to protect Caroline, who is maybe the person on this show (other than Bonnie) least needing protecting--but good looking out, Tyler, high five.
16) "What do you need?" "Just you. Maybe a curling iron." UGH CAROLINE AND TYLER YOU ARE THE BEST.
17) "It's her call, Damon." "You know what else is her call? Everything bad ever." Now, now, don't leave out names. All of you have horrible plans! It's weirdly endearing, three years in.
18) Okay, box of Playboys, fine, but why in the name of God does Damon have old bird cages in there?
19) I like this line of reasoning better: it's not that Stefan was something Elena could have that wouldn't leave her, like her parents did. It's that he helped her come back when she thought she was going to be lost for a long, long time. And I still think she should choose herself, but Stefan is a decent fallback position as long as he doesn't get coked up on human blood again.
20) "You should burn in hell. But if you die, so do my friends. So does my mother."
Okay, a) nobody fuck with Bonnie Bennett, because holy shit look at that face, and b) I...should have seen it coming. But I didn't! Big ups.
21) Aaaaaand then Evilric jumps Damon, Damon refuses to tell him where Klaus is, and Evilric snaps his neck. That's enough out of you, mister. You're even, now.
22) "I over-honeyed. I suck at tea." Or that could be the roofies OH WHOOPS SPOILERS.
23) --because yeah, Jeremy and Matt totally drugged Elena's tea to get her out of town. Which, way to respect your sister/friend's agency, guys, but also: trying to take Elena anywhere out of that town tends to end horribly. Jesus Christ, you all have the memory retention of hamsters.
24) "The problem is Damon." Not shown: Matt, silently saying "this is not news" with just his face.
25) And then, because why not make me cry for basically half the goddamn show, the only reason Grayson and Miranda were out there that night was to pick up Elena, who'd ditched family night and had a fight with Matt and needed to come home early.
26) Watching Evilric stalk Rebekah through the storage area is fucking terrifying. You could not pay me to be in one of those things at night--seriously, daytime is creepy enough--and it's somehow worse to see a vampire being vulnerable, even if I remain not the world's biggest Rebekah fan.
27) (As a sidebar, I am starting to really dig on Rebekah and Damon: Hatebros. Seriously! They are kind of the same person, only with occasional sportfucking. I would laugh 'til I peed if they kind of ended up friends.) (Not like him and Ric, though, because I don't need my fucking heart broken again.)
28) I like that the one thing I take from the Ian Somerhalder Foundation other than--you know, it's a good, charitable work and should be commended and supported--is that it reminds me that Ian is, in fact, a crazy pet hoarder. Shut up, that is amazeballs.
29) Aaaaand then: Evilric stakes Klaus. (Not that this solves anyone's problem, as we will see.)
Dear Joseph Morgan: they really did not give you enough to do on this show. But between this and Immortals, and subtracting points for your awful hair on Hex, you are a lot better than they let you do. Which is sad, but not surprising, because Klaus never really had enough to do. (I'd still pay real money if you come back, somehow.) I'm going to miss you, sir, and I'll be keeping my eye out.
30) "An hour's not enough time to get back to Mystic Falls."
Which--yeah, okay, the Elena thing, but: this is the last time, as far as they know, that they're ever going to talk to each other. This is the best they've gotten along since that night Stefan dubcon'd Damon into transitioning, and it ends with them a hundred miles apart. I don't get any real sense of sadness from them, though: they've said it all. They've done every horrible thing they could possibly do to each other--mostly Damon to Stefan--and they've worked through it, occasionally at fang-point. They've been through Katherine, and Elena, and Klaus, and a hundred-and-fifty-plus years of hating the person you're stuck with.
If this is how it ends, they're okay with that. I think maybe they always thought it'd end worse. That maybe this is a gift.
31) --yeah, I'm just gonna get more purple as I go, it was a long fucking night. Check out now if you want, it's okay, no hard feelings.
32) And Elena only has time to choose one of them, so she does: Stefan. She admits she's choosing Caroline and Tyler and everyone else as much as him, but she loved Stefan first. Even if it was just down to Stefan and Damon--no others, just them--she'd choose Stefan. And I can respect that.
(Also, nice callbacks to the books, up through Dark Reunion after which THEY ALL WENT TO HANDMADE SHIT--ahem.)
33) "It's always going to be Stefan." Oh, look! Crying again!
See, that's--that's why I can't hate Damon, shit like that. Shit like last year, when Tyler's bite was killing him and Elena didn't know and asked for time to forgive him, and he smiled and said "of course" and wanted to go out his own way. Damon has a weird sense of self, broken down by 150+ years of missing Katherine and the shit over the last, what, 18 months (no, for real, the whole show has taken place over a year and a half. Minds: BLOWN) and rebuilt in small batches, like emotional risotto. (...I know, I know.)
He cares about people--not a lot of them, and no one as much as Elena or Stefan, but he does. He lost Rose last year. He lost Ric like three days ago. Everyone else can barely stand him on their best days, but he keeps fighting. He doesn't know why, but he does it anyway. He used to get freaked out by blood; he's still a little OCD about messes and dust and--I don't know, weird shit. He's an asshole, and he still gets pissy about having emotions, and he's learned how to give way gracefully. Sometimes.
And, you know, he still commits murders all the time, but he's still on baby steps, okay? Give him a break.
34) Aaaaand that's when I realize: even if Klaus was lying about everyone else being of his bloodline, Tyler sure as shit was.
35) ...you knew this was coming, right?
Tyler Lockwood used to be an asshole. He had a girlfriend, Vicki, who he liked but didn't love; certainly not enough to stand up for her when his douchebag dad the mayor and his drunk mother shit-talked her. He pushed Jeremy around. He was friends with Matt and played football, and got whammied a lot--not as much as Caroline, but a decent amount.
And then, one day, there was a party, and something happened. Something bad. A girl died. It was an accident. But something was different.
See, Tyler--and his dad (rest his soul), and his Uncle Mason (rest his soul, too)--was a werewolf, and the curse kicks off when you cause someone's death. It hurt. A lot. Tyler never cared for it; he was just as horrified to learn that his friend Caroline, who he liked (more than he should, since she was Matt's ex), was a vampire: a werewolf's mortal enemy. But he worked at it, and learned to deal with it, even if he could never embrace it. We do that a lot, people: we get by. We make do. Tyler did.
And then, one night, Klaus killed him. And Elena, in her own way, brought her back, but with a price: he was Klaus' to command, sired by him and not just changed. He never had to be a werewolf again, but he had to drink blood. No one could trust him, not even Caroline--Caroline, who he came back for, Caroline who he loved. It took him a long time to get over that: time alone, in the mountains. He broke every bone in his body a hundred times for the woman he loved, to get himself back. And it worked! It worked, because spells like that--with love, and sacrifice--always do.
And then Klaus died, and Tyler, being his child, felt himself start to go--start to go mad, the way it happens sometimes. And he told Caroline to run, because he couldn't control himself, and because he always loved her best.
But maybe that's not the end of the story. Maybe it's like with Rebekah and Esther, or Alaric and Klaus. Maybe Tyler's just in there, resting. I'd like to think so.
But just in case: To Tyler Lockwood. You were a better man than Tyler Smallwood ever was, honey. Please come back.
36) And then OH SHIT KLAUS IS IN TYLER'S BODY OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT CAROLINE IS GOING TO HURT SOME BITCHES WHEN SHE FINDS OUT
37) That said, I do like that Bonnie's like, "Fuck dead witches, you assholes keep yelling at me for bringing back my boyfriend but you make Alaric into the Terminator Original using my blood? Uh uh. Fuck that noise. I quit." YOU GUYS SHE MADE THE DARK PHOENIX FACE AGAIN, AND I MEAN THAT IN THE BEST WAY.
38) Yes, I teared up with Elijah, are you kidding me? Come back anytime, Elijah. Take time off from your new show! Stop in occasionally! PLEASE GOD STOP IN OCCASIONALLY.
39) ...so of course Rebekah's like, "Plan B: kill Elena and we get rid of Evilric." Goddammit, Rebekah, you were coming up on like ten whole minutes where I didn't hate you.
40) Damon, not to put salt in the wound here, but YOU ARE MAKING ME AGREE WITH EVILRIC, OKAY. He's not Ric. Ric's just waiting. This is something else.
41) And THEN OH SHIT DAMON MET ELENA FIRST OH SHIT
42) "It's Mystic Falls. Nothing bad ever happens here." Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh my GOD. I want that stitched on a pillow immediately. CafePress store, tote bags, the works. That is fucking amazing. That should be their motto. Funniest thing I've heard in three years on this show.
43) Watching Damon's "oh, shit, Katherine?" face is both great and horrifying, because you can see Foreshadowing back there, eating popcorn and slurping on a Coke.
44) I do love that Damon just...lies down in the middle of the road sometimes, for funsies. There is literally no reason for that. On the other hand, the man hides moonstones in potpourri in his bathroom and has bird cages in his storage unit. The ways of Salvatores are not for us to understand.
45) And then--no, it's actually very sweet, Damon outlining how Elena wants passion and a little bit of danger, and her little "it's a valid point" head-nod. Nice tip of the hat to the books, where Elena straight-up admits that while she loves Stefan, she will always be tempted by Damon because he appeals to the darkness in her. He's not her endgame, but you can't really say he's not her soulmate. Or one of 'em.
Aaaaaaand then Damon whammies her, because--dude, did you just assume Stefan was coming back? I know he was there that night, but what the hell? Elena's parents have been dead for months when the pilot starts, so did you two just hang out, circling each other like weirdoes?
...what am I saying, that's exactly what you did. UGH YOU GUYS SALVATORES ARE THE BEST.
46) Aaaaaaaaaand THEN: possibly one of the most beautiful, most horrifying things they've ever shown on this series. Stefan swims down to get Grayson out, but he waves him off to go save Elena; Elena does the same for Stefan to save Matt. He gave her a gift, once: he gave her her life. Gave it to her twice, really, by her estimation. Three times just seems greedy. And she loves Matt, too--as a brother, not a lover--and it's been a long night, and Elena will always, always choose someone else over herself.
And then Grayson (and Miranda, though we don't really see that; I suspect she never regained consciousness) slips away. And so does Elena.
47) AND THEN OH SHIT CRYING AGAIN Jeremy starts lighting into the Alaric-shaped form he sees in his doorway, asking how he even got inside--remember, no invite:
"I don't know. I wanted to say goodbye and it happened."
No pain. No tears. Just sort of baffled, like he doesn't know exactly how ghosts work; like Vicki Donovan didn't set his car on fire like a month ago. He's in the same clothes, but he's not the same man. Evilric was rage and hate and weapons; Alaric is--more free. A little sad, maybe, but his heart's not breaking. He said most of his goodbyes already; he's got time for one more.
"I just want you to know I'll always be with you. You'll never be alone."
And then he just--goes.
And a hundred miles away, in a storage unit, Evilric collapses. And Damon, who is a lot of things but stupid isn't one of them, starts screaming.
48) And THEN because this whole night has been a shitshow that makes last year seem like fucking--I don't know, Secret Life of the American Teenager or some shit--Damon shows up to see Elena's body, and Meredith drops the bomb that, I think, a lot of us deep down knew was coming:
She didn't have a concussion, she had a cerebral contusion. She would have died. And we all know what Meredith does for special cases, don't we?
49) And then--at the edges of Mystic Falls, where nothing bad ever happens--just off the Wickery Bridge, where her parents died more than a year ago, Elena Gilbert opens her eyes and gasps for air. Stefan just stares.
And she has a choice to make.
Next season: ...will probably not start 'til September, judging by the existing pattern, and we'll get the S3 DVDs about a week before, SO: Elena's a vampire! (Maybe.) Klaus is in Tyler's body! (Definitely.) Alaric's really dead! (Definitely, though feel free to come back as a ghost, Davis, and I will be watching Cult if the CW picks it up--dear CW: PICK IT UP, THE MAN NEEDS A JOB.) Bonnie's gone off the rails! (Kinda.) Matt Donovan is officially the only human left in town! (Essentially.)
The Vampire Diaries season 4: OH SHIT YOU GUYS ELENA GILBERT IS A MOTHERFUCKING VAMPIRE.
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11. I am, like, 70% sure that they said that Esther used the blood from the girl Klaus and Elijah fought over to turn them all, and that she was the originator of the Petrova doppleganger line.
27. That whole time Evilric was staking Klaus, Damon was holding onto Rebekkah to keep her from getting her ass killed, and my feels kind of exploded. He also delayed Evilric just long enough to let her escape. If Rebekkah would just quit trying to kill Elena, they could probably be actual friends with benefits.
46. One of the things Elena said about Stefan this season was that she always appreciated that he let her make her own choices. Stefan is a bit jealous of her feelings (otherwise he wouldn't have been like HOW DO YOU FEEEEEEL) but he understands that in order for them to be partners, friends, and lovers that she has to be able to do her own thing, without the big strong vampire keeping her safe all the time. Damon's overprotective tendencies are kind of sweet in a 'he cares' sense, but they also take away her agency, her ability to make her own decision. I wish she'd told the exact same thing to Damon that episode.
49. I hope I'm wrong, but I half suspect that Elena Gilbert is, in fact, not in transition to being a vampire. I wouldn't be surprised if Jeremy had gotten his ring on Elena's person somehow (a chain around her neck perhaps) and if so I will feel kind of cheated. Though if Bonnie had worked some mojo, I would be also less surprised and a lot less mad, as that would at least lead into Bonnie being off the rails next season instead of just being drama for the hell of drama.
Next season will be VERY interesting if she is transitioning, though. She'll remember both times Damon whammied her- the time on the road before the car accident, and the time later when he returned her necklace and told her he loved her.
I also don't see Elena not choosing to become a vampire, to be honest. Even when Klaus killed her and Damon forced vampire blood down her throat, she was talking about living as a vampire. It was not what she wanted but she seemed willing to make do with that particular hand. And if she does waffle, I have a suspicion that somebody in her life will force her to drink human blood. (My money's on Jeremy, since this show enjoys sibling parallels.)
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