![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
1) It might just be because my mom's been in the hospital since Friday, but seeing Ric in the MRI machine is really, really messed up.
2) Well, yeah, I imagine the Fells being giant snoops works out great when you're the redshirts of the Founding Families. "Find out everything you can about everything! You'll be dead in six hours!"
3) Aaand then Alaric gives up his ring, which--crazy-making or not--will probably not end well, in this town.
4) I love that Damon's idea of a pick-me-up is chicken soup and a martini. Frankly, I'm astonished he didn't immediately think Maker's Mark or something.
5) "Stefan has built himself a delusional wagon, which he has repeatedly fallen off of." Aaaaaaand that's Stefan Salvatore and His Hairshirt in one sentence, kids.
6) Caroline is really excited about robbing the blood bank! They just had a drive! They have the good stuff! WHY IS THAT CUTE.
7) Okay, just--I'm gonna try to minimize the ranting this week (except for the one about the threesome, which: bring some snacks, I'm gonna be a while), but for real: if Evil Lexi was a dude telling Damon to use ladies for sex and mindfuckery, people would be horrified. But because she's a hot lady, it's totally okay. That is just as hinky, to me.
7a) Also, for real, this would all be slightly more palatable if they hadn't named Evil Lexi after a fairly awesome dude.
8) "The world can't stop because you're an accidental psycho killer." And this is why I can't ever entirely hate Damon, you guys: going batshit crazy and committing murder is not a deal breaker for him, in any kind of relationship. Odds are, he has done stranger! And worse! Just, you know, don't lie about it.
9) OH AGH AGH AGH SAMANTHA GILBERT TRIED TO GIVE HERSELF A LOBOTOMY WITH A KNITTING NEEDLE AND BLED OUT OH GOD LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY SQUICK RE: LOBOTOMIES.
10) "She used to beat up men for sport."
"You always were quite common."
And for five seconds, Rebekah was my favorite character on this show.
11) Finn made Evil Lexi! Just another reason not to like the guy. Though now I'm wondering if he made her into who she is, the same way she helped shape Damon. Parents on this show are the worst, you guys.
12) I feel bad for Rebekah! Evil Lexi and Damon are using her! YOU GUYS I FEEL BAD FOR REBEKAH FUCK THIS ENTIRE WEEK.
13) Oh man, those restraining orders Isobel had out against Ric were real? I feel like firing someone. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL, SALTZMAN.
14) The callback to Alaric trying to kill Damon when he got murdered the first time! I love that Continuity never goes hungry on this show. Some series, the poor guy is dying of malnutrition; here, he's on Atkins and running laps.
15) Ahahahahahaha vampires stress eat.
16) There is not a lot that seems less appetizing to me right now than a "Sage-Rebekah sex sandwich". Maybe lepers. That homemade lobotomy mentioned above.
17) Ooooookay. The threesome.
Here's the thing: I don't care that vampires are basically inherently bisexual. That is great! That--no problem with that, really. It kind of makes sense; it's not like they need sex to reproduce, and they're all tactile creatures anyway, and sex is fun. No reason sex has to be fun with only one gender (though pretty much every vampire we've seen, we can assume, is predominantly heterosexual; it's more like opportunistic bisexuality).
No, my problem is that the only two times we've seen vampires act on it--Isobel, with the woman and gay man she whammed in S1, and now this--it's always ladies with ladies. Which--not knocking lesbians! Or opportunistic girl/girl bisexuality! I'm saying I think it's sort of bullshit that three seasons in, we haven't seen men with men, not once. Especially coming from a show where pretty much everyone involved is like "yeah, if the CW lets us, we are totally ending this thing with a polyamorous, quasi-incestuous stable threesome". (They have said this in print. UGH THIS SHOW HAS ALL MY FEELS.)
I just--I am saying. As hot as it is to see Evil Lexi, Rebekah, and Damon stalking around like panthers, wouldn't it have been just as hot if it was, say, Evil Lexi, Damon, and--I don't know, Elijah?
18) I will say that the vampire part, where Damon and Rebekah are stalking around like panthers and eating the piano player while Evil Lexi watches? SHIT-HOT.
19) Aaaaaaaand then I started to cry when Alaric gave Elena a list of his bank accounts and passwords and where to find his will. Dear Mystic Falls: all of you need this shit on-hand at all times, just in case. You have the lifespan of hamsters.
20) Wow, it is not at all reassuring to hear that witches who use dark magic go just as crazy as Ric. Though all of Klaus' witch friends suddenly make a lot more sense.
21) She needs something personal of his to break the spell! He volunteers his wedding ring! UGLY CRIES.
22) I do love that the show finally remembered that vampires are goddamn psychic. Remember? When Damon used to dick around in Stefan's head for lolz like every 20 minutes?
23) The Wickery Bride underside was made of white oak! Jesus, that tree must have been huge.
24) Oh, man: So Damon tells Evil Lexi about the white oak, but she's in league with Rebekah, because she loves Finn--you know, Finn? Great suicidal lummox--and all the Originals are linked, so she's like, "Uh, kill one and you kill all of them, PLAN B", and she and Rebekah burn the rest of the white oak? Except the only person in the world Damon trusts less than a Original is someone he's slept with, so BAM! he kept the first Wickery Bridge sign, which is also made of white oak! IT'S NOT PARANOIA IF THEY'RE REALLY OUT TO GET YOU.
25) Alaric's horror movie chase of Meredith through the house is like that episode of Angel where all the guys went crazy and murderous towards women: fucking horrifying, but not implausible. I don't know that guys will get this one, so much.
26) And then! Alaric is MUCH CRAZIER THAN WE SUSPECTED. He wants Jeremy to carry on his great work! Because apparently Gilbert rings make you really fucking crazy re: people on the Council! (Remember: none of the murders started 'til after Alaric took the Gilbert seat. We should...we should maybe let that thing lie fallow. Maybe burn it down and salt the earth, IDK.) GUYS HE HAD A HIT LIST.
27) And then! Stefan gets all grrrr-faced when he sees Meredith! But he fights it off! Stefan Salvatore always comes through in a pinch, you guys, even when he's nuts and starving.
28) And then OH GOD Alaric wakes up in bed and Damon's next to him, waiting for him to wake up. UGH MY FEELS AGAIN. See, this--even forget shipping, okay, just: look at Damon's face. He is beaming. Not smirking, not that weird "let me write poetry at you" face he gives Elena a lot of the time: beaming. HE IS LEGIT HAPPY HIS BEST FRIEND IS LESS MURDEROUS AND CRAZY. Damon Salvatore does not have a lot of good things, but at least he still has his best friend. UGLY CRIES AGAIN.
29) AND THEN BONNIE AND ELENA HUG AND ARE FRIENDS AGAIN, JESUS CHRIST THIS SHOW
30) "It's like house arrest light." STILL BEAMING. I HATE EVERYTHING.
31) And then! Abby goes to leave, because fuck being a vampire *and* being a parent, but Caroline is not having it! Because Caroline Forbes is one of the two best things about this show, the other being Matt Donovan! Caroline Forbes does not have time for your bullshit, it is detracting from her BEING FUCKING AWESOME. (I'm kidding. Nothing detracts from that.)
32) And then Elena calls Jeremy--not telling him about the Gilbert Ring of Crazy, which, uh, you might want to call him back, lady--and HE HAS A DOG NOW. "I'm on my way out to meet some friends." I never thought I would be so fucking happy Jeremy Gilbert has friends. Shit, I never thought I would be so fucking happy Jeremy Gilbert exists.
Next week: A limited supply of stakes! Matt Donovan gets to do things! Rebekah earns her Damon Salvatore Mutilation Hour merit badge! "The Murder of One", next Thursday, 8 PM EST.
2) Well, yeah, I imagine the Fells being giant snoops works out great when you're the redshirts of the Founding Families. "Find out everything you can about everything! You'll be dead in six hours!"
3) Aaand then Alaric gives up his ring, which--crazy-making or not--will probably not end well, in this town.
4) I love that Damon's idea of a pick-me-up is chicken soup and a martini. Frankly, I'm astonished he didn't immediately think Maker's Mark or something.
5) "Stefan has built himself a delusional wagon, which he has repeatedly fallen off of." Aaaaaaand that's Stefan Salvatore and His Hairshirt in one sentence, kids.
6) Caroline is really excited about robbing the blood bank! They just had a drive! They have the good stuff! WHY IS THAT CUTE.
7) Okay, just--I'm gonna try to minimize the ranting this week (except for the one about the threesome, which: bring some snacks, I'm gonna be a while), but for real: if Evil Lexi was a dude telling Damon to use ladies for sex and mindfuckery, people would be horrified. But because she's a hot lady, it's totally okay. That is just as hinky, to me.
7a) Also, for real, this would all be slightly more palatable if they hadn't named Evil Lexi after a fairly awesome dude.
8) "The world can't stop because you're an accidental psycho killer." And this is why I can't ever entirely hate Damon, you guys: going batshit crazy and committing murder is not a deal breaker for him, in any kind of relationship. Odds are, he has done stranger! And worse! Just, you know, don't lie about it.
9) OH AGH AGH AGH SAMANTHA GILBERT TRIED TO GIVE HERSELF A LOBOTOMY WITH A KNITTING NEEDLE AND BLED OUT OH GOD LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY SQUICK RE: LOBOTOMIES.
10) "She used to beat up men for sport."
"You always were quite common."
And for five seconds, Rebekah was my favorite character on this show.
11) Finn made Evil Lexi! Just another reason not to like the guy. Though now I'm wondering if he made her into who she is, the same way she helped shape Damon. Parents on this show are the worst, you guys.
12) I feel bad for Rebekah! Evil Lexi and Damon are using her! YOU GUYS I FEEL BAD FOR REBEKAH FUCK THIS ENTIRE WEEK.
13) Oh man, those restraining orders Isobel had out against Ric were real? I feel like firing someone. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL, SALTZMAN.
14) The callback to Alaric trying to kill Damon when he got murdered the first time! I love that Continuity never goes hungry on this show. Some series, the poor guy is dying of malnutrition; here, he's on Atkins and running laps.
15) Ahahahahahaha vampires stress eat.
16) There is not a lot that seems less appetizing to me right now than a "Sage-Rebekah sex sandwich". Maybe lepers. That homemade lobotomy mentioned above.
17) Ooooookay. The threesome.
Here's the thing: I don't care that vampires are basically inherently bisexual. That is great! That--no problem with that, really. It kind of makes sense; it's not like they need sex to reproduce, and they're all tactile creatures anyway, and sex is fun. No reason sex has to be fun with only one gender (though pretty much every vampire we've seen, we can assume, is predominantly heterosexual; it's more like opportunistic bisexuality).
No, my problem is that the only two times we've seen vampires act on it--Isobel, with the woman and gay man she whammed in S1, and now this--it's always ladies with ladies. Which--not knocking lesbians! Or opportunistic girl/girl bisexuality! I'm saying I think it's sort of bullshit that three seasons in, we haven't seen men with men, not once. Especially coming from a show where pretty much everyone involved is like "yeah, if the CW lets us, we are totally ending this thing with a polyamorous, quasi-incestuous stable threesome". (They have said this in print. UGH THIS SHOW HAS ALL MY FEELS.)
I just--I am saying. As hot as it is to see Evil Lexi, Rebekah, and Damon stalking around like panthers, wouldn't it have been just as hot if it was, say, Evil Lexi, Damon, and--I don't know, Elijah?
18) I will say that the vampire part, where Damon and Rebekah are stalking around like panthers and eating the piano player while Evil Lexi watches? SHIT-HOT.
19) Aaaaaaaand then I started to cry when Alaric gave Elena a list of his bank accounts and passwords and where to find his will. Dear Mystic Falls: all of you need this shit on-hand at all times, just in case. You have the lifespan of hamsters.
20) Wow, it is not at all reassuring to hear that witches who use dark magic go just as crazy as Ric. Though all of Klaus' witch friends suddenly make a lot more sense.
21) She needs something personal of his to break the spell! He volunteers his wedding ring! UGLY CRIES.
22) I do love that the show finally remembered that vampires are goddamn psychic. Remember? When Damon used to dick around in Stefan's head for lolz like every 20 minutes?
23) The Wickery Bride underside was made of white oak! Jesus, that tree must have been huge.
24) Oh, man: So Damon tells Evil Lexi about the white oak, but she's in league with Rebekah, because she loves Finn--you know, Finn? Great suicidal lummox--and all the Originals are linked, so she's like, "Uh, kill one and you kill all of them, PLAN B", and she and Rebekah burn the rest of the white oak? Except the only person in the world Damon trusts less than a Original is someone he's slept with, so BAM! he kept the first Wickery Bridge sign, which is also made of white oak! IT'S NOT PARANOIA IF THEY'RE REALLY OUT TO GET YOU.
25) Alaric's horror movie chase of Meredith through the house is like that episode of Angel where all the guys went crazy and murderous towards women: fucking horrifying, but not implausible. I don't know that guys will get this one, so much.
26) And then! Alaric is MUCH CRAZIER THAN WE SUSPECTED. He wants Jeremy to carry on his great work! Because apparently Gilbert rings make you really fucking crazy re: people on the Council! (Remember: none of the murders started 'til after Alaric took the Gilbert seat. We should...we should maybe let that thing lie fallow. Maybe burn it down and salt the earth, IDK.) GUYS HE HAD A HIT LIST.
27) And then! Stefan gets all grrrr-faced when he sees Meredith! But he fights it off! Stefan Salvatore always comes through in a pinch, you guys, even when he's nuts and starving.
28) And then OH GOD Alaric wakes up in bed and Damon's next to him, waiting for him to wake up. UGH MY FEELS AGAIN. See, this--even forget shipping, okay, just: look at Damon's face. He is beaming. Not smirking, not that weird "let me write poetry at you" face he gives Elena a lot of the time: beaming. HE IS LEGIT HAPPY HIS BEST FRIEND IS LESS MURDEROUS AND CRAZY. Damon Salvatore does not have a lot of good things, but at least he still has his best friend. UGLY CRIES AGAIN.
29) AND THEN BONNIE AND ELENA HUG AND ARE FRIENDS AGAIN, JESUS CHRIST THIS SHOW
30) "It's like house arrest light." STILL BEAMING. I HATE EVERYTHING.
31) And then! Abby goes to leave, because fuck being a vampire *and* being a parent, but Caroline is not having it! Because Caroline Forbes is one of the two best things about this show, the other being Matt Donovan! Caroline Forbes does not have time for your bullshit, it is detracting from her BEING FUCKING AWESOME. (I'm kidding. Nothing detracts from that.)
32) And then Elena calls Jeremy--not telling him about the Gilbert Ring of Crazy, which, uh, you might want to call him back, lady--and HE HAS A DOG NOW. "I'm on my way out to meet some friends." I never thought I would be so fucking happy Jeremy Gilbert has friends. Shit, I never thought I would be so fucking happy Jeremy Gilbert exists.
Next week: A limited supply of stakes! Matt Donovan gets to do things! Rebekah earns her Damon Salvatore Mutilation Hour merit badge! "The Murder of One", next Thursday, 8 PM EST.
Tags:
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject