![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
RICKET WATCH, WEEK EIGHTEEN: YEP
1) SO: The big news.
NO ONE DIED.
Yeah, no. Bonnie was--maybe technically dead? For, like, ten minutes, as part of her and Damon's grand (and totally improvised) plan to fool Klaus into thinking she's dead and no longer a threat. She is currently hiding in one of the many caves in Virginia, lit by candles and possessing WiFi, and Jeremy cannot be parted from her with, like, a crowbar. SO.
2) --okay, look, Mystic Falls, if you're not gonna stop having dances (or dinner parties/masquerade balls/WHATEVER), just stop letting Elena go. That shit never ends well.
3) ALSO LET'S TALK ABOUT MATT DAVIS FOR TEN SECONDS, K? Because Klaus-in-Alaric has managed to creep me out enough that Joseph Morgan now has some vaulting to do, you guys. HOLY SHIT. "I want you to take this knife and stab yourself, over and over and over again. [...] And if you get bored? Switch legs." SAID IN A TOTALLY CONVERSATIONAL TONE OF VOICE. GAAAAAAAH. He is disdainful of the 60s! Prefers the 20s! Does this really hilariously awkward shoulder-move-thing during the dance! Compelled people to try and murder Jeremy AS A DISTRACTION. I--I don't want Alaric to ever go evil on his own? But holy shit, Kevin and Julie, if you are harboring any notions of letting Matt Davis do that again--be evil and/or delighted and murderous--YOU SHOULD GIVE IN TO THEM. That? Was AMAZING.
4) If you don't think I'm gonna keep going with "Low-Rent Channing Tatum" (or LRCT) instead of "Maddox", you have clearly never met me.
5) --although, seriously, if any of you people PAID ANY GODDAMN ATTENTION for TEN FUCKING SECONDS, someone would have twigged to Alaric acting weird IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS DAY JOB. "Hey, we haven't seen Alaric. Do you think he got possessed by the first vampire?" "I don't know, but we haven't heard from him in a day or so, and now he's acting weird." SERIOUSLY? JESUS CHRIST, YOU PEOPLE. I am kind of starting to see Katherine's point, in that YOU GUYS HAVE NO PLAN. FUCK.
6) And while we're on the subject, HEY, DOES ANYONE CARE THAT ALARIC IS SORT OF MISSING AT THIS POINT? AND PROBABLY STILL POSSESSED BY KLAUS? No? Okay, just checking. The amount of kicking I want to do this week, JFC.
7) I actually sort of like that Stefan and Damon were briefly sad re: Katherine probably being dead. It's been a big part of their lives; letting go of that is always weird. (Also, Damon's just pissed he didn't get to kill her himself.)
8) "Stefan, would you like to come in to my house?" Bitchy, but appropriate. She is a Petrova, after all.
9) "Come on, Ric--I mean, Mr. Saltzman." Ahahahahahaha Team Salvatore: Lines? What Are Those?
10) OH MY GOD, PATRICK STUMP ON THE VAMPIRE DIARIES. DON'T THINK I DIDN'T MAKE A DOLPHIN NOISE. (For the record? "Spotlight (oh nostalgia)".)
11) Klaus? Is a terrible history teacher. Say what you will about Mr. Tanner--I'd personally go with "borderline psychologically abusive in a way that recalls that school from Whispering Corridors"--but he at least got dates right, jeez. (Okay, except for that one time Stefan corrected him, but whatever, original source.)
12) They totally managed to fake me out re: Caroline and Matt dressing up as Jackie and JFK.
13) And while we're on the subject? I am saddened, but not surprised, by Matt. Frankly, I'm more astonished that Liz didn't just stake Caroline in her sleep or whatever. I'm not hopeful, just--surprised. I don't know, you guys, this time of year is always a rollercoaster with no brakes and stuff on the tracks.
14) "Guy likes his bourbon." Yes, I laughed, shut up.
15) FTR: The Gilbert ring won't work on Bonnie, as it's meant to protect its wearer from supernatural creatures, not to protect one. Which means that as far as 1864 went, witches were like vampires and werewolves. (Which...we already knew, what with the 100 dead witches and Emily Bennett, but still.)
16) Klaus dedicating a song to Elena is somehow creepier than I thought it would be when I managed to hear that spoiler, like, three weeks ago.
17) I will be disappointed-but-not-surprised if regular Klaus is less...goofy than this one. It's sort of like Vegas: you're allowed to be not-yourself there, you know? And yes, I did just compare Alaric Saltzman to Vegas.
18) If you listen closely, the song Klaus dedicated? Was a really romantic number about a couple dying in a bloody car wreck. OH, ROMANCE. (As is era-appropriate, that's seriously like six different songs, so I have to wait for Chris Mollere's song list to tell me which one specifically.)
19) "Remember the last dance we went to? The vampires were all 'GRRRRAGH' and you were all 'AAAAAAAGH!'" Someone remind me why Damon doesn't recap stuff more often.
20) The last time I saw this many people cutting in on each other's dates, I was at a wedding.
21) I...am not terribly surprised or horrified re: Damon and Bonnie not telling Stefan or Elena about the suicide mission? It--okay, look, people last week were all "oh noes, Bonnie's their secret weapon!" like it was horrifying, and I was sort of surprised by that, because--you know, they're vampires. They don't think like us. They are predators. Predators with friends and a fondness for pickles, but it's like that snake analogy I always use for Damon: You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in.
This is sort of like that. I've been saying from halfway through S1 that if we're doing comparisons, Bonnie's like Damon, and this just proved that. They're both violently protective of Elena, they both get twitchy if you try to take responsibility for their actions, and they're both fully capable and ready to do whatever they have to. And no, I think--I think if anything, they understand each other a little better now, even if Elena sort of thinks they're both aliens. I don't know. I liked it, is what I'm saying, or--not liked, exactly, but I get it.
22) And yes, I am still VIOLENTLY SHIPPING THEM. It's Kat Graham in a minidress and Ian Somerhalder in leather pants. Leave me alone. THEY EYEFUCKED FOR TEN SECONDS, OKAY? I AM EASY.
23) The Jeremy thing didn't freak me out 'til I remebered: if Chad and the other guys had murdered Jeremy, being human, it would have stuck.
24) Damon dancing like a spaz to I Think We're Alone Now, BEST EVER OR BEST EVER, Y/Y? You guys, he had his arms up over his head.
25) Bonnie vs. Klaus, Round 1: COME THE FUCK ON, THAT WAS AWESOME. (And totally faked me out, re: Bonnie being dead.) Just--if they do anything even remotely as good in the finale, I will be making dolphin noises. DOLPHIN NOISES. It's like Buffy: why are the best fights always in hallways?
26) --though the janitorial staff is gonna be really fucking confused come morning. "The shit happened here?"
27) And yes, I was crying my face off when I thought Bonnie was dead, because I was and will remain a Bonnie girl, but it has led to my new favorite image: Bonnie Bennett, wreathed in sparks, nose bloodied, jaw set, no fear in her. Like a lion. Like a boss. That? You guys, that is my lady. Haters can go, right now. Get out. We can talk rationally about other things, but not Bonnie.
(For the record, the old favorite, now #2: Elena, being chased by Rose, ripping open the curtains and breaking a chair to make a stake, standing in sunlight and every nerve alert. YOUR FINAL GIRLS < MY FINAL GIRLS.)
28) "[Alaric'd] want me to stop you. And he'd want you to suffer first." And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love Alaric Saltzman, because he totally would. He would be furious that Klaus was using him as a body condom, but mostly? He'd be surly he couldn't break his own kneecaps to slow him down. Sorry, Mystic Falls: you accidentally hired the goddamn Batman.
--no, seriously, HIS DRESSER IS LOADED DOWN WITH WEAPONS. Like, his entire apartment is weapons and bourbon and earth tones. I LOVE YOU, ALARIC SALTZMAN, PLEASE DON'T DIE.
29) While I can see why Damon did the fakeout, he totally had that slap coming.
30) I am legitimately pissed a) we don't know where Alaric is, b) if he's still Klaus, and c) no one seems to give a shit. YOU GUYS, YOU SHOULD MAYBE LOOK INTO THAT. THEN MAYBE COME BACK AND TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS WHOLE PHONE TREE THING, BECAUSE I APPEAR TO HAVE BEEN RIGHT.
31) Anyone else think Damon made Bonnie a vampire? Because I thought that's where they were going. And if they had, you could do worse than to wake up in a room full of candles. Like, say, a quarry. Or the Salvatores' living room floor. You know, as two random examples.
32) Relieved or not, Elena and Bonnie crying at seeing each other made me start crying all over again. BEST FRIENDS, FOREVER.
33) Aaaaand again: not surprised at Damon flat-out telling Elena he'd let Bonnie die every time. Frankly, how is Elena surprised? HE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU. Have you not been paying attention? On his best day, Damon Salvatore in love is BATSHIT CRAZY. "I will always choose you."
(And that's sort of--Stefan would get it, in the end. Given a choice between Elena and the world, Stefan would, if absolutely necessary, choose the world; Damon never would. And that's why, in terms of Elena Gilbert, I will always be a Stefan girl.)
34) Aaaaaaaaaaaand then Elena PULLS OUT THE DAGGER AND WAKES UP ELIJAH, OH SHIT. BUCKLE UP, HERE COMES FUN.
Next week: Flashbacks! To what appears to be the set of Merlin! Everyone has really unfortunate hair! Katherine's dress is fucking amazing! SALVATORE FIGHT! "Klaus".
1) SO: The big news.
NO ONE DIED.
Yeah, no. Bonnie was--maybe technically dead? For, like, ten minutes, as part of her and Damon's grand (and totally improvised) plan to fool Klaus into thinking she's dead and no longer a threat. She is currently hiding in one of the many caves in Virginia, lit by candles and possessing WiFi, and Jeremy cannot be parted from her with, like, a crowbar. SO.
2) --okay, look, Mystic Falls, if you're not gonna stop having dances (or dinner parties/masquerade balls/WHATEVER), just stop letting Elena go. That shit never ends well.
3) ALSO LET'S TALK ABOUT MATT DAVIS FOR TEN SECONDS, K? Because Klaus-in-Alaric has managed to creep me out enough that Joseph Morgan now has some vaulting to do, you guys. HOLY SHIT. "I want you to take this knife and stab yourself, over and over and over again. [...] And if you get bored? Switch legs." SAID IN A TOTALLY CONVERSATIONAL TONE OF VOICE. GAAAAAAAH. He is disdainful of the 60s! Prefers the 20s! Does this really hilariously awkward shoulder-move-thing during the dance! Compelled people to try and murder Jeremy AS A DISTRACTION. I--I don't want Alaric to ever go evil on his own? But holy shit, Kevin and Julie, if you are harboring any notions of letting Matt Davis do that again--be evil and/or delighted and murderous--YOU SHOULD GIVE IN TO THEM. That? Was AMAZING.
4) If you don't think I'm gonna keep going with "Low-Rent Channing Tatum" (or LRCT) instead of "Maddox", you have clearly never met me.
5) --although, seriously, if any of you people PAID ANY GODDAMN ATTENTION for TEN FUCKING SECONDS, someone would have twigged to Alaric acting weird IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS DAY JOB. "Hey, we haven't seen Alaric. Do you think he got possessed by the first vampire?" "I don't know, but we haven't heard from him in a day or so, and now he's acting weird." SERIOUSLY? JESUS CHRIST, YOU PEOPLE. I am kind of starting to see Katherine's point, in that YOU GUYS HAVE NO PLAN. FUCK.
6) And while we're on the subject, HEY, DOES ANYONE CARE THAT ALARIC IS SORT OF MISSING AT THIS POINT? AND PROBABLY STILL POSSESSED BY KLAUS? No? Okay, just checking. The amount of kicking I want to do this week, JFC.
7) I actually sort of like that Stefan and Damon were briefly sad re: Katherine probably being dead. It's been a big part of their lives; letting go of that is always weird. (Also, Damon's just pissed he didn't get to kill her himself.)
8) "Stefan, would you like to come in to my house?" Bitchy, but appropriate. She is a Petrova, after all.
9) "Come on, Ric--I mean, Mr. Saltzman." Ahahahahahaha Team Salvatore: Lines? What Are Those?
10) OH MY GOD, PATRICK STUMP ON THE VAMPIRE DIARIES. DON'T THINK I DIDN'T MAKE A DOLPHIN NOISE. (For the record? "Spotlight (oh nostalgia)".)
11) Klaus? Is a terrible history teacher. Say what you will about Mr. Tanner--I'd personally go with "borderline psychologically abusive in a way that recalls that school from Whispering Corridors"--but he at least got dates right, jeez. (Okay, except for that one time Stefan corrected him, but whatever, original source.)
12) They totally managed to fake me out re: Caroline and Matt dressing up as Jackie and JFK.
13) And while we're on the subject? I am saddened, but not surprised, by Matt. Frankly, I'm more astonished that Liz didn't just stake Caroline in her sleep or whatever. I'm not hopeful, just--surprised. I don't know, you guys, this time of year is always a rollercoaster with no brakes and stuff on the tracks.
14) "Guy likes his bourbon." Yes, I laughed, shut up.
15) FTR: The Gilbert ring won't work on Bonnie, as it's meant to protect its wearer from supernatural creatures, not to protect one. Which means that as far as 1864 went, witches were like vampires and werewolves. (Which...we already knew, what with the 100 dead witches and Emily Bennett, but still.)
16) Klaus dedicating a song to Elena is somehow creepier than I thought it would be when I managed to hear that spoiler, like, three weeks ago.
17) I will be disappointed-but-not-surprised if regular Klaus is less...goofy than this one. It's sort of like Vegas: you're allowed to be not-yourself there, you know? And yes, I did just compare Alaric Saltzman to Vegas.
18) If you listen closely, the song Klaus dedicated? Was a really romantic number about a couple dying in a bloody car wreck. OH, ROMANCE. (As is era-appropriate, that's seriously like six different songs, so I have to wait for Chris Mollere's song list to tell me which one specifically.)
19) "Remember the last dance we went to? The vampires were all 'GRRRRAGH' and you were all 'AAAAAAAGH!'" Someone remind me why Damon doesn't recap stuff more often.
20) The last time I saw this many people cutting in on each other's dates, I was at a wedding.
21) I...am not terribly surprised or horrified re: Damon and Bonnie not telling Stefan or Elena about the suicide mission? It--okay, look, people last week were all "oh noes, Bonnie's their secret weapon!" like it was horrifying, and I was sort of surprised by that, because--you know, they're vampires. They don't think like us. They are predators. Predators with friends and a fondness for pickles, but it's like that snake analogy I always use for Damon: You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in.
This is sort of like that. I've been saying from halfway through S1 that if we're doing comparisons, Bonnie's like Damon, and this just proved that. They're both violently protective of Elena, they both get twitchy if you try to take responsibility for their actions, and they're both fully capable and ready to do whatever they have to. And no, I think--I think if anything, they understand each other a little better now, even if Elena sort of thinks they're both aliens. I don't know. I liked it, is what I'm saying, or--not liked, exactly, but I get it.
22) And yes, I am still VIOLENTLY SHIPPING THEM. It's Kat Graham in a minidress and Ian Somerhalder in leather pants. Leave me alone. THEY EYEFUCKED FOR TEN SECONDS, OKAY? I AM EASY.
23) The Jeremy thing didn't freak me out 'til I remebered: if Chad and the other guys had murdered Jeremy, being human, it would have stuck.
24) Damon dancing like a spaz to I Think We're Alone Now, BEST EVER OR BEST EVER, Y/Y? You guys, he had his arms up over his head.
25) Bonnie vs. Klaus, Round 1: COME THE FUCK ON, THAT WAS AWESOME. (And totally faked me out, re: Bonnie being dead.) Just--if they do anything even remotely as good in the finale, I will be making dolphin noises. DOLPHIN NOISES. It's like Buffy: why are the best fights always in hallways?
26) --though the janitorial staff is gonna be really fucking confused come morning. "The shit happened here?"
27) And yes, I was crying my face off when I thought Bonnie was dead, because I was and will remain a Bonnie girl, but it has led to my new favorite image: Bonnie Bennett, wreathed in sparks, nose bloodied, jaw set, no fear in her. Like a lion. Like a boss. That? You guys, that is my lady. Haters can go, right now. Get out. We can talk rationally about other things, but not Bonnie.
(For the record, the old favorite, now #2: Elena, being chased by Rose, ripping open the curtains and breaking a chair to make a stake, standing in sunlight and every nerve alert. YOUR FINAL GIRLS < MY FINAL GIRLS.)
28) "[Alaric'd] want me to stop you. And he'd want you to suffer first." And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love Alaric Saltzman, because he totally would. He would be furious that Klaus was using him as a body condom, but mostly? He'd be surly he couldn't break his own kneecaps to slow him down. Sorry, Mystic Falls: you accidentally hired the goddamn Batman.
--no, seriously, HIS DRESSER IS LOADED DOWN WITH WEAPONS. Like, his entire apartment is weapons and bourbon and earth tones. I LOVE YOU, ALARIC SALTZMAN, PLEASE DON'T DIE.
29) While I can see why Damon did the fakeout, he totally had that slap coming.
30) I am legitimately pissed a) we don't know where Alaric is, b) if he's still Klaus, and c) no one seems to give a shit. YOU GUYS, YOU SHOULD MAYBE LOOK INTO THAT. THEN MAYBE COME BACK AND TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS WHOLE PHONE TREE THING, BECAUSE I APPEAR TO HAVE BEEN RIGHT.
31) Anyone else think Damon made Bonnie a vampire? Because I thought that's where they were going. And if they had, you could do worse than to wake up in a room full of candles. Like, say, a quarry. Or the Salvatores' living room floor. You know, as two random examples.
32) Relieved or not, Elena and Bonnie crying at seeing each other made me start crying all over again. BEST FRIENDS, FOREVER.
33) Aaaaand again: not surprised at Damon flat-out telling Elena he'd let Bonnie die every time. Frankly, how is Elena surprised? HE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU. Have you not been paying attention? On his best day, Damon Salvatore in love is BATSHIT CRAZY. "I will always choose you."
(And that's sort of--Stefan would get it, in the end. Given a choice between Elena and the world, Stefan would, if absolutely necessary, choose the world; Damon never would. And that's why, in terms of Elena Gilbert, I will always be a Stefan girl.)
34) Aaaaaaaaaaaand then Elena PULLS OUT THE DAGGER AND WAKES UP ELIJAH, OH SHIT. BUCKLE UP, HERE COMES FUN.
Next week: Flashbacks! To what appears to be the set of Merlin! Everyone has really unfortunate hair! Katherine's dress is fucking amazing! SALVATORE FIGHT! "Klaus".
Tags:
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
(Seriously, Bonnie slamming the doors shut was a Buffy move, and that's when my throat went all weird, because those never ended well.)
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
Damon is USED to being at war. Bonnie fell into it and is adjusting pretty damn fast. They are NOT well adjusted people and they know it.
<3s.
Funny thing is, this actually brought them closer.
*g*
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
Bonnie and Damon: *glance at each other* "Only if they don't get out of our way."
Elena: ...."So now you're on the same side?"
Bonnie: "We have a mutual interest."
Damon: *intense eyes* "Keeping you alive."
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
OH GOD I DON'T WANT TO WRITE THIS
From:
no subject
This totally saves me from doing it. I AM BEHIND THIS PLAN.
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
If that wasn't a little too long for an icon, I would make one. I have no graphic skills so it would be some lame Paint thing, but still. Alaric is the goddamn Batman. (And you can't kill Batman. Right? RIGHT?)
I'm very suddenly shipping Damon/Bonnie after that damn dance. I always shipped them in the books, but not in the show until tonight. GUH.
From:
no subject