iphignia939

Oh, man, it's that time of year again already? AWESOME.

So this year, I'm doing the best moments before I do the Recap of People, mostly because...this is the post that got finished first. So here we go!

( Then There Was That Time Damon Wrote Stefan/Squirrel Fanfic: The Top 21 Moments From S3 of The Vampire Diaries )

It took a season-and-a-half, but I cave: I finally, FINALLY get the whole Suits thing. YOU WIN, FANDOM.

Oh my God, CW, just...step away from Battle Royale. VERY VERY SLOWLY.

(They have tentative plans to adapt it as a TV series. I think a vein in my forehead just popped.)

OH SHIT TEEN WOLF OH SHIT

I MIGHT HAVE TO UPGRADE YOU TO "TVD'S PRETTY GREAT LITTLE SISTER" BY THE END OF THIS YEAR

(by which I mean "no more head wound")

OH SHIT

ugh and now the Port Authority makes me sad

SERIOUSLY, MARVEL? SERIOUSLY?

EVERYBODY GET A PEN, THESE ARE SOME DATES YOU SHOULD KNOW:

( MCU movies, or, This is My Life Now, I Guess )

You guys, not for nothing, but you reaaaaaaally need to work to make a Guardians of the Galaxy movie. You don't have the five-film setup The Avengers had, and Marvel--on its best day--is wonky with its more science-fiction-y series. It could be interesting! It...could also have to explain the sentient-raccoon-with-a-history-as-a-CNA and the living-tree-former-supervillain parts. (Don't even get me started on Mantis. "The former Celestial Madonna is our comms expert!" Just. Wow.)

Instead: you take that money and make a Black Widow movie and a Hulk movie. HEAR ME OUT ON THAT LAST ONE.

Black Widow movie: easy. It's the Bourne Identity with Natasha. Make Clint Marie, put in backstory about Red Room and whether or not she has superpowers; if you need an antagonist, have Yelena show up as the second Black Widow, who's pissed the original is still out there and wants to kill Natasha so she's the only one by that name. Boom! Action movie! Filled with ladies! Boys as eye candy! EVERYONE WINS.

Now, the Hulk movie. ( This is not complicated: )

And sometimes you end up on YouTube at quarter after 1 in the morning, spotting you and your friends at a Fall Out Boy show and missing the shit out of TAI. SHUT UP, SOMETIMES THERE ARE FEELINGS.

Everyone tell me about Candice and Hoechlin dating. RIGHT NOW.

(ugh shut up what does this even say about me as a person)

Skew is what happens if Friday the 13th: The Series had a found footage episode. Or, say, the closest we'll come to an adaptation of Stephen King's "The Reaper's Image".

( skew )