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You guys, not for nothing, but you reaaaaaaally need to work to make a Guardians of the Galaxy movie. You don't have the five-film setup The Avengers had, and Marvel--on its best day--is wonky with its more science-fiction-y series. It could be interesting! It...could also have to explain the sentient-raccoon-with-a-history-as-a-CNA and the living-tree-former-supervillain parts. (Don't even get me started on Mantis. "The former Celestial Madonna is our comms expert!" Just. Wow.)
Instead: you take that money and make a Black Widow movie and a Hulk movie. HEAR ME OUT ON THAT LAST ONE.
Black Widow movie: easy. It's the Bourne Identity with Natasha. Make Clint Marie, put in backstory about Red Room and whether or not she has superpowers; if you need an antagonist, have Yelena show up as the second Black Widow, who's pissed the original is still out there and wants to kill Natasha so she's the only one by that name. Boom! Action movie! Filled with ladies! Boys as eye candy! EVERYONE WINS.
Now, the Hulk movie. You can't do a chase movie, like the Norton one; they made that movie already, it's sort of boring even with William Hurt and crazy Tim Roth. You actually can't do a chase movie; The Avengers (and Tony showing up at the end of Movie 2 to talk to Ross) renders that moot. SHIELD is protecting Bruce, so the Army's out. Ross is just nuts enough--and pissed, for a variety of reasons, including Betty--that he quits and goes rogue: tracks down a team of mercenaries and fringe scientists, starts stalking Bruce.
Bruce, meanwhile, is trying to get used to not constantly being on the run. The first person he meets up with is the relative he's closest to: his cousin, Jennifer Walters, who works for the D.A.'s office. Jen is brilliant, but maybe a little meek; she's not a klutz or anything, but she's never going to be a standout at her job. She gets kudos, and she's in the ninth or tenth percent of her class in law school; she's good, but she's not great.
On their way back from lunch one afternoon, Bruce and Jen get into a car accident. Bruce is, of course, fine; Jen will be fine, but she's got a sprained ankle and has lost a decent amount of blood. The doctor on duty--secretly paid off by Ross, naturally--transfuses her with Bruce's blood (they're the same type) and releases her. The two of them leave, unaware they're being watched.
A day or two passes. Jen is a lot more mild-mannered than Bruce is naturally, so it takes a while for it to be triggered. But something gets her mad--a case, or a defense attorney, whatever--and she gets mad: not pissed, not irritated, angry.
And the next thing you know, there's a seven-foot-tall green woman in the remains of a business suit, and everyone is fleeing the courthouse screaming.
Then--you know, vague it up, I'm not a screenwriter. Ross and his guys capture her, pretending to be the military; someone spots her being taken away and calls Maria Hill, who--as the new Phil Coulson, meaning she rides herd on the Avengers and Avengers-related shenanigans--scrambles a team to get her back. (She also calls Bruce, making the judgment call that A) after New York, you can maybe sort of direct the Hulk in the right circumstances and B) if you don't tell Bruce his arch-enemy has kidnapped his now-Hulked-out-cousin, he's gonna change anyway, and not in the useful way.)
Again, middle of the movie stuff, blah blah whatever. The main thing we learn about Jen, through the scientists, is that her change is the opposite of Bruce's: she stays Hulked out, until or unless she's scared. She also retains her intelligence and--she doesn't turn into a rage monster, precisely. She's more aggressive, but she's still *Jen*. Just--a better Jen, maybe. She's not scared of this. She's irritated they won't let her go, but she likes what this has done to her.
So naturally the team--composed of a bunch of SHIELD agents, Maria, Bruce, and Dr. Betty Ross (the preeminent-not-Banner expert on gamma mutations)--go in after her. And while Bruce is smashing stuff (because yeah, he's gonna Hulk out once, shut up), Betty's confront her father, horrified that he'd do this to another person.
The fight is destructive enough that the lab gets wrecked; Ross gets Betty out of the way of a falling pillar, but gets knocked down himself. Hulk has a chance to let Ross die, but ultimately chooses to save him (though he looks pissed at himself for doing it). Everyone ends up clustered outside; SHIELD arrests Ross' team for, among other things, kidnapping and attempted murder (because I don't know the statute off-hand, if there is one, for forcible human mutation). But before Ross can be taken into custody, here comes Agent Henry Peter Gyrich to take him off Agent Hill's hands. (I know, Gyrich is more of an X-Men thing, but: separate franchises.)
And Gyrich, who can't leave well enough alone, gives Ross a blood transfusion. From Jennifer Walters. And BAM! now SHIELD has gotten rid of a major pain in their ass *and* they have a Red Hulk. (For the record, that's the stinger if they don't have a setup for The Avengers 2; if they do, that's mid-credits, like Thanos.)
Maria offers Jen a job with SHIELD, to everyone's surprise; Jen considers it, but ultimately decides to remain a lawyer--but not with the D.A.'s office; she joins the new firm Landau, Luckman, and Lake, who...specialize. Betty, who's just lost her father, realizes the time still isn't right to be with Bruce--but at least they have more of a shot now that he's not fleeing the United States every twenty minutes and being hunted by the military.
And Bruce? Well, he goes back to work at SI--trying not to throw a shoe at Tony, who's heard all about this by now--and finds that...he has an intern. Who looks suspiciously like one of the SHIELD agents who went to New Mexico with him, mostly because he is. Agent Hill, it seems, has decided that Dr. Banner doesn't need a handler, precisely; he needs--well, an intern. And Agent Jones has most of a doctorate in--
BOOM. That is how you get Rick Jones into a MCU Hulk movie without being totally extraneous and giving him shit to do. HANDLED.
Casting: not complicated! Angie Harmon as She-Hulk; Gina Carano as Jennifer Walters; William Hurt as General Ross; Jennifer Connolly as Betty Ross; Adam Baldwin as Henry Peter Gyrich; and Michael B. Jordan as Rick Jones.
(Yes, I just made an AU where Betty Ross is married to JARVIS. YOU ARE WELCOME.)
(Also: Angel Coulby as Marlo. I REPEAT: EVERYONE WINS.)
Instead: you take that money and make a Black Widow movie and a Hulk movie. HEAR ME OUT ON THAT LAST ONE.
Black Widow movie: easy. It's the Bourne Identity with Natasha. Make Clint Marie, put in backstory about Red Room and whether or not she has superpowers; if you need an antagonist, have Yelena show up as the second Black Widow, who's pissed the original is still out there and wants to kill Natasha so she's the only one by that name. Boom! Action movie! Filled with ladies! Boys as eye candy! EVERYONE WINS.
Now, the Hulk movie. You can't do a chase movie, like the Norton one; they made that movie already, it's sort of boring even with William Hurt and crazy Tim Roth. You actually can't do a chase movie; The Avengers (and Tony showing up at the end of Movie 2 to talk to Ross) renders that moot. SHIELD is protecting Bruce, so the Army's out. Ross is just nuts enough--and pissed, for a variety of reasons, including Betty--that he quits and goes rogue: tracks down a team of mercenaries and fringe scientists, starts stalking Bruce.
Bruce, meanwhile, is trying to get used to not constantly being on the run. The first person he meets up with is the relative he's closest to: his cousin, Jennifer Walters, who works for the D.A.'s office. Jen is brilliant, but maybe a little meek; she's not a klutz or anything, but she's never going to be a standout at her job. She gets kudos, and she's in the ninth or tenth percent of her class in law school; she's good, but she's not great.
On their way back from lunch one afternoon, Bruce and Jen get into a car accident. Bruce is, of course, fine; Jen will be fine, but she's got a sprained ankle and has lost a decent amount of blood. The doctor on duty--secretly paid off by Ross, naturally--transfuses her with Bruce's blood (they're the same type) and releases her. The two of them leave, unaware they're being watched.
A day or two passes. Jen is a lot more mild-mannered than Bruce is naturally, so it takes a while for it to be triggered. But something gets her mad--a case, or a defense attorney, whatever--and she gets mad: not pissed, not irritated, angry.
And the next thing you know, there's a seven-foot-tall green woman in the remains of a business suit, and everyone is fleeing the courthouse screaming.
Then--you know, vague it up, I'm not a screenwriter. Ross and his guys capture her, pretending to be the military; someone spots her being taken away and calls Maria Hill, who--as the new Phil Coulson, meaning she rides herd on the Avengers and Avengers-related shenanigans--scrambles a team to get her back. (She also calls Bruce, making the judgment call that A) after New York, you can maybe sort of direct the Hulk in the right circumstances and B) if you don't tell Bruce his arch-enemy has kidnapped his now-Hulked-out-cousin, he's gonna change anyway, and not in the useful way.)
Again, middle of the movie stuff, blah blah whatever. The main thing we learn about Jen, through the scientists, is that her change is the opposite of Bruce's: she stays Hulked out, until or unless she's scared. She also retains her intelligence and--she doesn't turn into a rage monster, precisely. She's more aggressive, but she's still *Jen*. Just--a better Jen, maybe. She's not scared of this. She's irritated they won't let her go, but she likes what this has done to her.
So naturally the team--composed of a bunch of SHIELD agents, Maria, Bruce, and Dr. Betty Ross (the preeminent-not-Banner expert on gamma mutations)--go in after her. And while Bruce is smashing stuff (because yeah, he's gonna Hulk out once, shut up), Betty's confront her father, horrified that he'd do this to another person.
The fight is destructive enough that the lab gets wrecked; Ross gets Betty out of the way of a falling pillar, but gets knocked down himself. Hulk has a chance to let Ross die, but ultimately chooses to save him (though he looks pissed at himself for doing it). Everyone ends up clustered outside; SHIELD arrests Ross' team for, among other things, kidnapping and attempted murder (because I don't know the statute off-hand, if there is one, for forcible human mutation). But before Ross can be taken into custody, here comes Agent Henry Peter Gyrich to take him off Agent Hill's hands. (I know, Gyrich is more of an X-Men thing, but: separate franchises.)
And Gyrich, who can't leave well enough alone, gives Ross a blood transfusion. From Jennifer Walters. And BAM! now SHIELD has gotten rid of a major pain in their ass *and* they have a Red Hulk. (For the record, that's the stinger if they don't have a setup for The Avengers 2; if they do, that's mid-credits, like Thanos.)
Maria offers Jen a job with SHIELD, to everyone's surprise; Jen considers it, but ultimately decides to remain a lawyer--but not with the D.A.'s office; she joins the new firm Landau, Luckman, and Lake, who...specialize. Betty, who's just lost her father, realizes the time still isn't right to be with Bruce--but at least they have more of a shot now that he's not fleeing the United States every twenty minutes and being hunted by the military.
And Bruce? Well, he goes back to work at SI--trying not to throw a shoe at Tony, who's heard all about this by now--and finds that...he has an intern. Who looks suspiciously like one of the SHIELD agents who went to New Mexico with him, mostly because he is. Agent Hill, it seems, has decided that Dr. Banner doesn't need a handler, precisely; he needs--well, an intern. And Agent Jones has most of a doctorate in--
BOOM. That is how you get Rick Jones into a MCU Hulk movie without being totally extraneous and giving him shit to do. HANDLED.
Casting: not complicated! Angie Harmon as She-Hulk; Gina Carano as Jennifer Walters; William Hurt as General Ross; Jennifer Connolly as Betty Ross; Adam Baldwin as Henry Peter Gyrich; and Michael B. Jordan as Rick Jones.
(Yes, I just made an AU where Betty Ross is married to JARVIS. YOU ARE WELCOME.)
(Also: Angel Coulby as Marlo. I REPEAT: EVERYONE WINS.)