-JULIAN. You know who I'm not gonna miss? The guy who repeatedly punches ladies in the face and terrorizes small children. DUDE BEAT UP RUSSELL, FUCK HIM. I'm going to miss him in a meta sense, because I kind of like bad guys who *aren't* Ultra? But come on, dude, don't do the Villain Gloat. That's the sort of shit that made up five years of Leverage.

-I am baffled as to why the writers have decided to go with "okay, Stephen's just...less of a dick now" rather than actually showing character development, but if it means A) he's no longer a dick and B) we get a second season, I'll give it a pass.

-Seriously, where the hell does Astrid live? Her dad owns a bakery! (I think.) That house has A BAY WINDOW and A BREAKFAST NOOK WITH WARM GOLDEN LIGHT. Wh--I keep wanting to say Queens, but I know literally nothing about NY geography, so I'm just guessing.

-JOHN AND ASTRID. I--you know what, don't even judge me. I would be just as o--I would be perfectly fine with them just being bros forever, because Astrid forcibly makes John stop acting like John, Guy In Charge of An Entire Race of People, and act like John, Guy in His Early Twenties Who Should Maybe Take a Day Off and See a Movie or Something. (Russell does the same thing, to an extent, which is why I am legit sad we never really get to see John and Russell being bros.) And of course Astrid is freaking out re: two separate kill squads sent to kill her, and of course she wouldn't want to talk to Stephen about it, because Stephen is Tomorrow People Jesus and has like nine jobs and does not actually get why she is so freaked out. But John does.

("Shouldn't you be in school?" "Shouldn't you be in your underground lair, and not in Stephen's room? ...and wearing a shirt?" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. High five, Phil.)

(Not the best line of the night, but it's close; the actual best is Russell's "Seriously, if I don't get my gummy bears, I'm going to kill someone." THE GOOD KIND, OKAY, DER GUMMI, FROM GERMANY.)

I--do not actually know if I would trust ANYONE, even the hottest guy in New York, to save me from falling to my death in the subway intentionally, but Astrid did, and it worked out, so yay! And don't think I didn't catch her little "What? Come on, no," when Stephen was all "OH MY GOD PLEASE DON'T DATE HIM", followed by a thoughtful face. KEEP THAT LINE OF THOUGHT GOING, ASTRID, YOU'VE SEEN HIM WITHOUT A SHIRT.

-John and Charlotte! Man does well as an older brother, is what I'm saying.

-It is never not going to be amazing that John can cook.

-Also amazing: the sheer amount of pandering this show is doing to get renewed. John, shirtless and doing ab crunches in Stephen's room! "Can't a guy make breakfast for another guy?" As long as you get renewed, I don't care if there's a bodyswap or something. RENEW IT ALREADY, CW.

-John and Cara--you know, it's fine. Not my thing, obviously, but Peyton List and Luke Mitchell sell the shit out of it, so--I mean, they're work. They're always going to be work. And there's Stephen, and I have seen Julie Plec shows before, okay, so. You know. Remember this come season three, John/Cara people, and wade into the Vampire Diaries shipping fights if you're feeling brave NO WAIT REALLY DON'T DO THAT.

Monday, March 17: Russell's old cat burglary partner calls the Tomorrow People out for not helping humans - you know, as we all live on this planet together - so it's time for The CW Does Kick-Ass! Only less dumb than I just made it sound.


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