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This post is not All About Tim Hutton. No, no. That comes later.
This post is about a boy named Scott Pilgrim and a girl named Ramona Flowers. They made a movie about it, IDK, you might have heard?
SCOTT PILGRIM HAPPENED, YOU GUYS, AND I WANT TO GO AND CLIMB INSIDE IT AND ROLL AROUND IN IT
FOREVER.
I—you guys! It is really hard to like Scott Pilgrim! He has issues! He is in the early stages of That Guy, Hipster Edition! He is dating a seventeen-year-old to get over his last breakup (which was a year ago, and to someone who’s now an indie star)! He tells terrible jokes and has no job and – okay, he seems to play decent bass, but you still just want to kick him a little. Just because.
And then Ramona happens. Ramona Flowers, specifically, who hails from America – this is in the wilds of Toronto – and works for Amazon, and meets Scott because he has a convenient subspace bypass in his subconscious. Ramona, who changes her hair every ten days and works really, really hard at being cool without being *too* cool.
Ramona, who’s the love of Scott’s life.
--except first he has to defeat her seven evil exes (and yes, that’s a clue). Because that’s how Canada rolls, if you’re Bryan Lee O’Malley.
But that’s not what the movie is about. It’s about everything - Stephen Stills and Kim Pine and Young Neil, Scott’s teenage girlfriend Knives (17 Years Old), his sister Stacey, Stephen’s ex-gf Julie Porter (who HAAAAAAAAAAAATES SCOTT) and speaks mostly in blacked-out mouths because Scott makes her curse like a sailor). It’s about Wallace, Scott’s gay roommate and possibly the coolest guy in the movie, who effortlessly steals Stacey’s boyfriend (“Again!”) and sleeps with more guys than the rest of the cast put together, and who makes me really, really glad that Kieran Culkin has turned out as well as he has. It’s about Ramona, who apparently has Mjolnir in her messenger bag and isn’t afraid to throw down, let alone to tell a boy “no, I like you, and I said sex? But now I say no sex.” She’s real. She does messy things, and sometimes it’s infuriating, but she’s not perfect. She’s just the love of Scott’s life.
It’s about the music (“WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! ONE TWO THREE FOUR!”) and the sword fights and the awkward shit that happens when you realize A) you’re in love and B) the past doesn’t actually stay—you know, past. It’s about Nega-Scott and how Scott makes beffies with him, and how good music can make monsters fight each other like Pokemon during a Battle of the Bands, and how Jason Schwartzman can be the coolest motherfucker in the room. It’s Kim getting hit points when Scott says he’s sorry, and the Vegan Police (THE VEGAN POLICE, YOU GUYS, THOMAS JANE AND CLIFTON COLLINS JR., JESUS CHRIST) (“...chicken isn’t vegan?”), and The Clash at Demonhead facing off with Sex Bob-Omb in the back of a club sit-down style like the X-Men fighting the Hellfire Club.
It’s Chris Evans being every action guy in a movie, ever, and somehow coming across even more awesome; it’s Brandon Routh, pretty much cementing my stupid crush on him. (Dylan Dog remake this year, you guys! Don’t think I won’t be yelling about that for months on end, jfc.) It’s Roxanne, who became a ninja when Ramona left her (albeit one with sensitive knees), and Matthew (who might’ve become a pirate, or possibly Waldo, but who was at least polite enough to warn Scott in an email first). It's Envy Adams, who no one calls Natalie anymore.
It’s the stuff we didn’t see, too – how Stephen finally gets over Julie (here’s a hint: NOT WITH LADIES), and whether or not Scott finally gets a job, and how the fuck Kim and Knives made out that one time. And no, Scott Pilgrim isn’t perfect, but he’s working on it. He’s 22, and he’s fairly self-aware as far as faults go. Give him some time to turn it around.
(If you’re a fan of the graphic novels, the pacing in this might drive you fucking insane. They compress all six books into a couple of weeks, maybe a month. So you can forget right about Ramona disappearing to her dad’s for a year.)
I just – it’s the details that fucking kill me. The video game Universal logo! Getting coins when you vanquish an ex! (Said coins hurting when seven million of them rain down on you!) Our reviewer made a lot of it, but: THE PEE BAR. THE PEE BAR.
They cut out some things – mostly small to middling, a couple of huge ones, but nothing that ruined it for me, and while I’m conversant in Pilgrim, I don’t have the actual books as a reference point. (They’re on my Filthy Lucre Is Necessary list for when I get a job.)
I haven’t felt this way about a movie – you guys, it’s like The Losers had a cranky baby with Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist. If you’ve ever wanted to see Michael Cera (with a shaggy haircut) duel the ex-drummer for Phantom Planet to the death for the fair hand of Mary Elizabeth Winnstead, you need to see this movie. Right now.
And even if you haven’t wanted to see that, SEE IT ANYWAY. You’ll be glad you did.
(SOUNDTRACK COME TO ME RIGHT NOWWWWWWWW.)
This post is about a boy named Scott Pilgrim and a girl named Ramona Flowers. They made a movie about it, IDK, you might have heard?
SCOTT PILGRIM HAPPENED, YOU GUYS, AND I WANT TO GO AND CLIMB INSIDE IT AND ROLL AROUND IN IT
FOREVER.
I—you guys! It is really hard to like Scott Pilgrim! He has issues! He is in the early stages of That Guy, Hipster Edition! He is dating a seventeen-year-old to get over his last breakup (which was a year ago, and to someone who’s now an indie star)! He tells terrible jokes and has no job and – okay, he seems to play decent bass, but you still just want to kick him a little. Just because.
And then Ramona happens. Ramona Flowers, specifically, who hails from America – this is in the wilds of Toronto – and works for Amazon, and meets Scott because he has a convenient subspace bypass in his subconscious. Ramona, who changes her hair every ten days and works really, really hard at being cool without being *too* cool.
Ramona, who’s the love of Scott’s life.
--except first he has to defeat her seven evil exes (and yes, that’s a clue). Because that’s how Canada rolls, if you’re Bryan Lee O’Malley.
But that’s not what the movie is about. It’s about everything - Stephen Stills and Kim Pine and Young Neil, Scott’s teenage girlfriend Knives (17 Years Old), his sister Stacey, Stephen’s ex-gf Julie Porter (who HAAAAAAAAAAAATES SCOTT) and speaks mostly in blacked-out mouths because Scott makes her curse like a sailor). It’s about Wallace, Scott’s gay roommate and possibly the coolest guy in the movie, who effortlessly steals Stacey’s boyfriend (“Again!”) and sleeps with more guys than the rest of the cast put together, and who makes me really, really glad that Kieran Culkin has turned out as well as he has. It’s about Ramona, who apparently has Mjolnir in her messenger bag and isn’t afraid to throw down, let alone to tell a boy “no, I like you, and I said sex? But now I say no sex.” She’s real. She does messy things, and sometimes it’s infuriating, but she’s not perfect. She’s just the love of Scott’s life.
It’s about the music (“WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN! ONE TWO THREE FOUR!”) and the sword fights and the awkward shit that happens when you realize A) you’re in love and B) the past doesn’t actually stay—you know, past. It’s about Nega-Scott and how Scott makes beffies with him, and how good music can make monsters fight each other like Pokemon during a Battle of the Bands, and how Jason Schwartzman can be the coolest motherfucker in the room. It’s Kim getting hit points when Scott says he’s sorry, and the Vegan Police (THE VEGAN POLICE, YOU GUYS, THOMAS JANE AND CLIFTON COLLINS JR., JESUS CHRIST) (“...chicken isn’t vegan?”), and The Clash at Demonhead facing off with Sex Bob-Omb in the back of a club sit-down style like the X-Men fighting the Hellfire Club.
It’s Chris Evans being every action guy in a movie, ever, and somehow coming across even more awesome; it’s Brandon Routh, pretty much cementing my stupid crush on him. (Dylan Dog remake this year, you guys! Don’t think I won’t be yelling about that for months on end, jfc.) It’s Roxanne, who became a ninja when Ramona left her (albeit one with sensitive knees), and Matthew (who might’ve become a pirate, or possibly Waldo, but who was at least polite enough to warn Scott in an email first). It's Envy Adams, who no one calls Natalie anymore.
It’s the stuff we didn’t see, too – how Stephen finally gets over Julie (here’s a hint: NOT WITH LADIES), and whether or not Scott finally gets a job, and how the fuck Kim and Knives made out that one time. And no, Scott Pilgrim isn’t perfect, but he’s working on it. He’s 22, and he’s fairly self-aware as far as faults go. Give him some time to turn it around.
(If you’re a fan of the graphic novels, the pacing in this might drive you fucking insane. They compress all six books into a couple of weeks, maybe a month. So you can forget right about Ramona disappearing to her dad’s for a year.)
I just – it’s the details that fucking kill me. The video game Universal logo! Getting coins when you vanquish an ex! (Said coins hurting when seven million of them rain down on you!) Our reviewer made a lot of it, but: THE PEE BAR. THE PEE BAR.
They cut out some things – mostly small to middling, a couple of huge ones, but nothing that ruined it for me, and while I’m conversant in Pilgrim, I don’t have the actual books as a reference point. (They’re on my Filthy Lucre Is Necessary list for when I get a job.)
I haven’t felt this way about a movie – you guys, it’s like The Losers had a cranky baby with Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist. If you’ve ever wanted to see Michael Cera (with a shaggy haircut) duel the ex-drummer for Phantom Planet to the death for the fair hand of Mary Elizabeth Winnstead, you need to see this movie. Right now.
And even if you haven’t wanted to see that, SEE IT ANYWAY. You’ll be glad you did.
(SOUNDTRACK COME TO ME RIGHT NOWWWWWWWW.)
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