I tell myself I shouldn't go back to my ex, because he did shitty things (see: the first half of S3), but then one night I get sad and drunk and he shows up at my apartment and we have a long talk about how he's changed (see: the second half of S2).

I'm not sure where Bomer and DeKay figure in exactly, but ugh, White Collar, LET'S PRETEND THE FIRST 8 EPISODES NEVER HAPPENED, I MISSED YOU SO MUCH, HONEY.

Ugh, Jeff Eastin: I would really, really appreciate it if you didn't treat this season of White Collar like that episode last season when Peter and Neal traded places and I wanted to punch the witness for acting like "Neal Caffrey" was some sort of ogre because Tim DeKay is 6'3" and built like a brick shithouse. I AM SAYING I WAS IRRATIONALLY ANGRY, OKAY. I don't need that shit for 16 goddamned episodes.

( WC 3.01: on guard )

Also, note to self: I need to stop reading tumblrs where people are assholes to Ian Somerhalder, because that is the fastest way to get my blood pressure up. JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR.

OH MY GOD WHITE COLLAR

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU NOT NEW RIGHT FUCKING NOW

THIS JUST IN: PETER BURKE IS EVERYONE'S DADDY

OH MY GOD

1) Thanks to gyzym, I am now stuck with the idea of girl!Neal (as in, turned into a girl, not always-a-lady) in my head. Do you have any idea how distracting this is? Seriously. I have stuff I should be doing.

2) Thanks to myself, I am also stuck with the idea of an AU where Sam and Dean Winchester were turned into vampires in 1864, and have to be hunted down by the Salvatore brothers. (Extra fun: the JDM analogue in this one is James Fucking Remar. BONUS POINTS.)

(Stefan/Castiel! Tell me that would not be awesome.)

3) You can tell me that there's a better Damon/Bonnie song than Lady Gaga's "Teeth", but I don't know that I would believe you.

4) I am actually writing fanfic again! I know! Granted, it's a Big Eden/Tru Calling crossover, which means I've become That Person, the one who writes fanfic crossing over fandoms Y and Z because they like fandom X, but you know what? It's the first actual, long-ass story I've written since last year, so bite it.

4a) If you sit down and do the math, it is disturbingly easy to figure that a couple years before she was a party planner named Elizabeth [maiden name], Elizabeth Burke was a lieutenant in the LAPD, running roughshod over Bill Bellamy and Peter Facinelli. I would pay real money for someone else to end up writing this.

5) Adam Lambert thinks Ian Somerhalder is magical. A. Lam! I knew there was a reason I liked you best! (By fractions, because I stil love Kris, but come on.)

So so far this year, we have Tim DeKay, who got his BA in Business Admin before getting his MFA at Rutgers, then working as a casket-maker for a few years before becoming an actor. Oh, leaving aside that time in college when the actual FBI wanted to work in the actual WC unit, which he turned down because it wasn't exciting enough.

We also have Ian Somerhalder, who is part-Choctaw, started modeling at ten, may or may not have ADD, calls the time after he left Lost and did indie films and theater "a fucking terrible idea", and totally showed his junk in Tell Me You Love Me (which also starred Tim DeKay, though they didn't have any scenes together). Oh, and he's from New Orleans and lived in Italy by himself when he was sixteen--which he will mention to you NINE THOUSAND TIMES in an interview--and can apparently make quail "that freaks [you] out."

--so, basically, both my shows have been staffed by magical pixies this year.

(We are leaving aside Matt Bomer doing musical theater, Tiffani Thiessen's husband making a beer-and-ice run during their wedding reception, Kat Graham singing backup for the Black-Eyed Peas and having her own album come out later this year, and Paul Wesley's friends unironically call him "P. Wes." SOMETIMES I LOVE EVERYTHING.)

Going strictly by their twitters, Jeff Eastin and Matt Nix are friends. Possibly the kind of friends who would get drunk in Cancun and wake up spooned around each other WHAT I'M JUST SAYING.