ASM review: grizzly rage
Dear Teen Wolf fandom: let's talk about Grizzly Rage. PLEASE DEAR GOD let's talk about Grizzly Rage.
I'll revisit some of this later, because David DeCoteau is literally an entire Ambassador of Shitty Movies post all by himself, but Grizzly Rage was made as part of the Maneater series of films: basically, direct-to-DVD efforts about man-vs-nature that have, at one point or another, all aired on the SyFy Channel. (They may have actually been commissioned by SFC, but I honestly can't remember. They did air, though.) They include such classics as Eye of the Beast, Shark Swarm, and The Hive--and, of course, Grizzly Rage.
Grizzly Rage features Tyler Hoechlin. That is honestly the only reason to--
--well, no, as a TW fan that's the only reason to watch this movie; you should track down a copy anyway because it is fucking terrible.
( grizzly rage: now with 100% more angry bear stock footage! )
I'll revisit some of this later, because David DeCoteau is literally an entire Ambassador of Shitty Movies post all by himself, but Grizzly Rage was made as part of the Maneater series of films: basically, direct-to-DVD efforts about man-vs-nature that have, at one point or another, all aired on the SyFy Channel. (They may have actually been commissioned by SFC, but I honestly can't remember. They did air, though.) They include such classics as Eye of the Beast, Shark Swarm, and The Hive--and, of course, Grizzly Rage.
Grizzly Rage features Tyler Hoechlin. That is honestly the only reason to--
--well, no, as a TW fan that's the only reason to watch this movie; you should track down a copy anyway because it is fucking terrible.
( grizzly rage: now with 100% more angry bear stock footage! )
Entry tags:
movie review: N-Secure
Today on Shitty Movie Theater: let's talk about N-Secure.
( I'd rather another man stick his dick in my mouth than in my woman )
( I'd rather another man stick his dick in my mouth than in my woman )
Entry tags:
movie review: Race With the Devil
And now, in my position as U.S. Ambassador of Shitty Movies (tm ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
zillahseye, I present to you Race With the Devil: what happens when a Peter Fonda movie has to get a kidney transplant, and the donor is...I don't know, something with Satanists.
( race with the devil )
zillahseye, I present to you Race With the Devil: what happens when a Peter Fonda movie has to get a kidney transplant, and the donor is...I don't know, something with Satanists.( race with the devil )
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movies: Campfire Stories
Campire Stories is what happens when you take Creepshow and Tales From the Crypt, put them in a blender with a bunch of low-level hallucinogenics, and smoke it. I have no idea whether this is a good or a bad thing.
(Hilariously, I'm starting to thinkscarimonious and I are engaged in some weird-ass unspoken contest to sit through everything awful in the world. Here's a hint: we've both seen Blood Creek.)
( now with 100% more Forest Ranger Buster Poindexter )
(Hilariously, I'm starting to think
scarimonious and I are engaged in some weird-ass unspoken contest to sit through everything awful in the world. Here's a hint: we've both seen Blood Creek.)( now with 100% more Forest Ranger Buster Poindexter )
Entry tags:
JONAH BLOODY HEX
In which I talk about Jonah Hex, from my newly-minuted position as Ambassador of Shitty Movies (tm zillahseye.
( Things That Stood Out to Me About Jonah Hex, A Movie That Is In Fact Sort of Terrible, Yet I Cannot Stop Watching It )
zillahseye.( Things That Stood Out to Me About Jonah Hex, A Movie That Is In Fact Sort of Terrible, Yet I Cannot Stop Watching It )
Entry tags:
movie review: The Thirst
So now we come to The Best Terrible Movie I Saw In 2010 (Which, Considering My Tastes, Is Impressive): The Thirst, starring Matt Keeslar, Claire Kramer, Jeremy Sisto, Serena Scott Thomas, Adam Baldwin and Erik Palladino, all of whom are in this movie for NO REASON I WILL EVER UNDERSTAND.
( Terrible Movie Theater: The Thirst )
( Terrible Movie Theater: The Thirst )