* AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH OKAY, the whole town blaming Nathan constantly for the Troubles still being around is going to get reeeeeally fucking old really fast, okay? Like--yeah, he disrupted the cycle, but you know what? It's a shitty cycle! You all got through meteors just fine!

"You kept the Troubles from disappearing! You made the meteors happen!" Yeah, and YOUR ENTIRE GODDAMNED TOWN COMMITTED HUMAN SACRIFICE EVERY 27 YEARS FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG. (And don't say that didn't happen, because Lucy Ripley's fucking dead, okay? And so is Sarah Vernon, and so is everyone else. Audrey Parker, IMO, is the equivalent of someone with amnesia who's made a new life for herself.)

* ALSO AAAAGH THE JORDAN THING. I want to like Jordan! I do! She has a shitty Trouble that got triggered in a fucking horrible way, and her life is extremely sucky. But here's the thing: she was going to use a child to make Nathan put Audrey in the barn. I am never going to get over that.

Also, she gets MURDER EYES every time someone mentions Audrey, because God forbid people like Audrey. Which...is weird, because Audrey is basically murdered every 27 years, so you'd think she'd have empathy for her, but nope.

* OH GOD DUKE'S STORY WAS ABOUT NATHAN OH GOD. THEY USED TO GO SLEDDING TOGETHER. HE CARRIED NATHAN TO THE HOSPITAL. When Audrey finally gets back, their relationship is going to make her walk into a door. It is fantastic.

* Still like Jennifer! Still totally don't know what they're going to do with her, as she is basically a walking plot device. But she is a cute one who likes saltwater taffy and flashed her boobs to get Duke out of a mental institution.

* Haven having a Founders' Day celebration is like Mystic Falls having one: A TERRIBLE IDEA.

* I...don't actually hate Wade? I don't think anything good will happen to him, because Crockers who aren't named Duke don't do well in this town, but I don't hate him.

* Man, Vince is really committed to being a creepy old man, isn't he? Like, oh, IDK, by threatening to have the Guard murder Wade if Duke doesn't get him out of there? WHAT IS EVEN YOUR DEAL, TEAGUES.


* "It's like those pictures from Pompeii" is one of the hottest things Nathan's ever said.

* I do love that Wardrobe was apparently told to make Nathan dress like a grad student this year. Also, is it just me, or is Copeland getting hotter and hotter? Full beard looks good on you, bro.

* I sort of...do not care about the Lexie thing? It's going to be like ten weeks of angst and emo when she does get to Haven, because she doesn't remember being Audrey and is either in love with William or something, and that's going to drive me crazy because FOUR YEARS IN, STOP IT ALREADY and just--ugh, seriously: She's really hot, I have no opinion of Lexie DeWitt, but the evil part of me wants someone to track down the *real* one - you know, like with Audrey II? - and just blow Not!Audrey's MIND.

* Clearly Duke hasn't clued Jennifer in to the whole story, because I don't know about her, but I would have started laughing helplessly around "then Nathan buried his dad in the good cooler."

* I will say that by the time Audrey gets back, she might actually be sort of unnecessary. Nathan's been paying attention, when he's not knocked out cold. He's really good at talking people down.

* It wouldn't be an episode of Haven if someone didn't whip out a gun.

* You know it's a bad day when Duke has to tell Nathan Jordan was wrong about him.

* Aaaand we end with Vince Teague, MAFIA BOSS. Have I mentioned I love this show so much it makes my hair hurt? Also, for real, WHAT DOES DAVE DO? Other than be the quiet one who mostly agrees with Nathan, and thinks they pussed out in 1955 by not trying to keep Sarah out of the Barn.

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