And now, in my position as U.S. Ambassador of Shitty Movies (tm [personal profile] zillahseye, I present to you Race With the Devil: what happens when a Peter Fonda movie has to get a kidney transplant, and the donor is...I don't know, something with Satanists.

race with the devil )
This meme was originally from--Facebook, I think?--but the version I saw was from [personal profile] handful_ofdust, who's waaaay better at this than I am.

30 Days of Horror Movies meme, crammed into one post )
Campire Stories is what happens when you take Creepshow and Tales From the Crypt, put them in a blender with a bunch of low-level hallucinogenics, and smoke it. I have no idea whether this is a good or a bad thing.

(Hilariously, I'm starting to think [personal profile] scarimonious and I are engaged in some weird-ass unspoken contest to sit through everything awful in the world. Here's a hint: we've both seen Blood Creek.)

now with 100% more Forest Ranger Buster Poindexter )
iphignia939: (he gave me points (Losers))
( Jun. 12th, 2011 08:10 pm)
X-Men: First Class is basically Marvel's way of apologizing for letting Brett Rattner do X-Men: The Last Stand. I have been waiting for that apology since I saw that goddamned thing opening night, and I have to say: TOTALLY WORTH IT.

I'm going to count to three, and then I'm going to move the coin )

Basically, this totally redeems the franchise for me, and I want to see it three more times RIGHT NOW.
Scream 4: I liked it, you might not. (I think I should preface every movie review with this, because I have weird tastes.) It really helps if you've seen the first three, though.

scream 4: first we lived in farms, then in cities, and now we live on the internet )
Sucker Punch is - huh. This is the weirdest review I've ever written. Basically: if you like Zack Snyder movies, or wanted to see it, you should give it a shot. Otherwise, you should read this first. (That's not a knock; it's just...forewarned is forearmed and all that.)

deep sacrifice and perfect victory )

Like I said: really delicious caramel of a center theme, skanky exploitation issues as burnt popcorn outer shell. If you wanted to see it from the trailers, you should go with that; if you're okay with Zack Snyder movies in general, you should be fine. But if you don't think you want to deal with any of that, I don't think it'll be skin off anyone's nose if you don't go. I meant what I said about forewarned being forearmed.
So now we come to The Best Terrible Movie I Saw In 2010 (Which, Considering My Tastes, Is Impressive): The Thirst, starring Matt Keeslar, Claire Kramer, Jeremy Sisto, Serena Scott Thomas, Adam Baldwin and Erik Palladino, all of whom are in this movie for NO REASON I WILL EVER UNDERSTAND.

Terrible Movie Theater: The Thirst )
Fireball: in which an accident turns a wife-beating athlete into Pyro from the X-Men, and the only ones who can stop him from destroying Lake Tahoe are the Andromeda and Damon Salvatore. IT IS EXACTLY AS AWESOME AS IT SOUNDS.

no I am not making any of this up: Fireball )
Train = Turistas On a Train, with a teeeeeny bit of Hostel.

stealers )

Eh. *seesaws hand* Maybe rent this one if you think the one line description sounds like your cup of tea; otherwise, skip it. You're not really gonna be missing a lot.
If you hated RE: Extinction, welcome back! It totally sucked. This one does not.

resident evil: afterlife )

And now I have to go find my goddamn Prison Break DVDs. Shit.
This post is not All About Tim Hutton. No, no. That comes later.

This post is about a boy named Scott Pilgrim and a girl named Ramona Flowers. They made a movie about it, IDK, you might have heard?

she works for amazon.ca. what's the web address for that? )
Trailer for Splice! You guys, I think God wants me to see a Vincenzo Natali movie in theaters, the way it was intended. (Seriously, do not get me started on Vincenzo Natali. I start squeaking.)

The Losers )
iphignia939: ((not an accountant))
( Feb. 27th, 2010 12:14 am)
The Crazies: definitely not bad, a little heavy on the jump scares, and waaaaaay better than you'd think you'd get from Michael Eisner's kid. (No, really.)

The Crazies )
Sometimes, you just have the kind of week that ends with needing to see the movie where people kill Nazis. This has been one of those weeks.

Inglorious Basterds, or, If You Wrote Slash For Band of Brothers, You Can Do This, Too )

Dear Internet: LET’S START TALKING ABOUT ELI ROTH, WHAT DO YOU SAY.
.

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