27 Things About the S4 Finale of The Vampire Diaries

1. You guys, quit being assholes to Julie Plec. Do I agree with everything that's happened this season? Fuck no. A lot of it is infuriating. But she's doing her job, she's telling a story; you don't get to call her a fuckface or send her death threats via Twitter or something. That's what assholes do. Are you an asshole? Of course not. So don't do it. Bitch about the episode on Tumblr or whatever. Or, you know, on your LJ (or Dreamwidth, tonight: THANKS HEAPS, LJ).

2. LITERALLY as soon as Shot Through the heart started, I yelled "Stefan & Lexi Dance Party!" I fucking love callbacks.

3. OH GOD and then Elena - real Elena, the one who feels things and laughs and loves people - eats terrible food and drinks whiskey and holds Jeremy and Alaric's hands. She can feel again, y'all. Her family's back. And just like that, I fell in love all over again.

4. DO NOT TOUCH THE PUDDING POP.

5. "This is my bar, pal. Nobody's gonna blow it up." UGH SHUT UP AND STAY FOREVER, ALARIC SALTZMAN.

6. Only in Mystic Falls can Bonnie be like, "Look, can I just wait to tell everyone I died? It's graduation, Caroline would fucking freak."

7. "Maybe I can move to Australia. I can live in a yurt." Trufax: the Stefan who has a Lexi will always, always be my favorite Lexi, the same way my favorite Damon has an Alaric. (I would pay good money if they both came back, Lexi and Ric, and became bros OH GOD I COULD SHIP THAT.)

8. I know, I know, Ric's still dead. But he's *also* still in town, because his idiot best friend is there, and LOOK CULT GOT CANCELED, OKAY? FIND A WAY.

9. "Take off your shirt."
"Elena, please. There are children present."

...yeah, this is gonna be one of those nights I just quote stuff.

10. "Did you just threaten my best friend?" I am really going to be sad if we don't get one more Bennett/Forbes/Gilbert commemorative sleepover event. BESTIES FOREVER. (I will say that now that I don't hate her anymore, Elena's new hair is fantastic.)

11. It is so hot that Damon knows physics. DON'T JUDGE ME, WE'VE DISCUSSED THIS BEFORE.

12. "The first rule of truly living: do the thing you're most afraid of."

And somewhere, some universe a couple doors down from this one, Klaus is showing Caroline New Orleans while Rebekah and Matt go all over Europe just because they can. I still kind of hope it ends up that way, someday; Matt's always made Rebekah the best her possible.

13. "We're all actually here! We're all here together! [...] We could get a triple room!" Which is when I teared up, but I didn't really lose it 'til Mayor Bonnie's Dad first announced Bonnie's name. You guys, they all got to graduate. In Mystic Falls, that is legit like winning the lottery.

14. For real, their graduating class is like thirty people.

15. Aaaaaaand then Alaric pops in behind Vaughn, kills him, tosses his body OVER A WATERFALL, and proceeds to break down over the phone because Damon's a dumbass who won't take the cure UGH THEY ARE THE BEST.

16. And then KLAUS DECAPITATES WITCHES WITH A GRADUATION CAP BEST EPISODE OF THE YEAR.

17. I love that Lexi and Alaric's conversation a) exists and b) is basically about why they continue to be friends with total hapless morons. A vampire who figured her shit out a couple hundred years before Stefan was born and the guy whose wife Damon turned: the best part of the Salvatores.

18. CAROLINE SENT KLAUS A GRADUATION ANNOUNCEMENT AND WOULD LIKE A MINI-FRIDGE, PLEASE. But instead HE GIVES HER BACK TYLER OH GOD I CAN'T STOP CRYING IT'S LIKE S2 ALL OVER AGAIN.

19. "He's your first love. I intend to be your last. However long it takes." --yeah, I liked Cami fine the two scenes she was around for the Originals pilot, but for real: Caroline/Klaus endgame, right here, BOOM. She made him remember he was people, once. He drew her a picture of her standing next to a horse, and made him realize she'd never love him if he couldn't be friends with her first. Y'all can have my share of the Delena; I will be over here, tending a teeny tiny (but stable!) Klaroline fire. Sorry, Cami. Forbes called dibs.

20. OH GOD THE QUARRY. You know, where Emily Bennett took the Salvatores when they were transitioning so they didn't get burned by their father and the council? UGH SERIOUSLY CALLBACKS.

21. I would pay legit money for a Stefan's Diaries book that was just him and Lexi tooling around, having adventures. Make that happen, CW! I own the other six! (No, really, I do. It is slightly embarrassing.)

22. "See you, Lexi." SHUT UP, CRYING AGAIN.

23. AND THEN! Matt and Rebekah road tripping the summer across Europe, being friends with benefits! HE HAS NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE OF THAT TOWN, OKAY, LET HIM HAVE THIS.

24. Jeremy's alive! ...and can see ghosts uh-oh.

25. "Tell Elena and Caroline I'm spending the summer with my mom."

Bonnie Bennett was the only child of Rudy Hopkins and Abby Bennett, only granddaughter of Sheila. She was funny and smart, and never really believed she was psychic; she predicted Heath Ledger, but that was a one-off. Her best friends were Elena Gilbert and Caroline Forbes; they were going to have a three-room at college, when they went, and maybe meet some cute boys. She'd decide what she wanted to do with her life.

Things didn't turn out that way. For any of them.

Bonnie turned out to be a witch - the last in a long line of witches, stretching back to Emily Bennett (who helped Katherine make the Salvatores, for good or for ill) and Qetsiyah (who trapped the immortal Silas, doomed forever because she loved him - or maybe not; stories have more than one point-of-view, depending on who's telling them). She did wonderful things; she did terrible things; she was furious and angry and hated and loved, and she was never more purely happy than the day she showed her best friend that she could float feathers. Like something out of a fairy tale. And Elena wasn't scared! Elena was delighted, and laughed with her, and hugged her tight.

Bonnie's hugging her tight now, though she can't feel it: the same way Alaric killed two people to save his bar and his best friend, the same way Rebekah kissed Matt goodbye and Klaus said he was perfectly all right waiting for Caroline to be ready for him. Mystic Falls is a horrible place to live, but that just means it's more beautiful when people do things for love.

She's still there. She's not going anywhere. She still has a town to protect, after all, and her friends aren't getting any smarter.

26. KATHERINE'S HUMAN OH SHIT GET READY FOR THUNDERDOME

27. Silas is free! Silas has a doppelganger! It's Stefan! We get to reenact that year Angel spent underwater SEE YOU IN SEPTEMBER!

Next week: Nothing 'til September, when we have to deal with like seven pounds of dead people, a reborn Jeremy (...who needs a house right now), Silas-who-looks-like-Stefan, the Originals tooling around New Orleans, and - most exciting - the brand-new human Katerina Petrova, for the first time since the year started with a fifteen.

The Vampire Diaries, Season 5. CATCH IT.
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