SO: Nate was "taking care of things" for three months, and comes into town on a boat; Sophie was conning people so she didn't get rusty; THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER. UGH KISSING. Also, Tim Hutton got a haircut, and spends the first act in a hoodie over a white tee, so he basically dresses like Connie from Ordinary People as an adult. We have yet to speak at length about my horrible Tim Hutton problem, internets, but let me tell you: THIS IS NOT HELPING ANY.

Hardison and Parker: also together! And doing crimes in Paris, and still not even remotely normal, but now he calls her "babe" and she beams at him and SHUT UP THIS SHOW IS AMAZING.

Eliot: has probably gotten laid like eighty times, but spent at least some of the time off blowing up missiles in the Middle East with Adam Baldwin. I am not entirely certain, for the record, that this was not with *actual Adam Baldwin* instead of a character he plays.

ALSO: we are now in Portland, because the whole Latimer/Dubenich thing got Nate's apartment made by the FBI and Interpol, among others, so now they live in Portland. Over a microbrewery. THAT THEY OWN. Parker wants to call it Thief Juice--"it's a mouth crime!"--and Eliot is mostly horrified that Hardison didn't take into consideration how to construct a menu with microbrews, because it's a lot harder than just pairing food with wine.

I repeat: LEVERAGE INCORPORATED, PORTLAND BRANCH, OWNS A MICROBREWERY. I am not convinced that they next time they move, Nate's not just going to insist they go to Tennessee to get a stake in a sipping whiskey company. (I think he might've bought land in Scotland for that exact purpose.)

In the middle of trying to make Nate a new ID--their old ones got burned, and Nate just goes ahead and makes up a name, because Nate Ford will totally fuck up your plans, even if he loves you--Hardison and Eliot get in a fight about the menu. "Nine out of ten restaurants fail!" Meanwhile, Sophie is on her third accent in five minutes.

Cary Elwes has really started to look less puffy. This is a good thing.

Howard Hughes = the Tony Stark of the 40s. (Seriously. Can we just go ahead and make Aldis Hodge Isaiah Bradley already? Since APPARENTLY WE'RE NOT DOING A BLACK PANTHER MOVIE--ahem. Anyway.)

"You and I kill a guy, we go to jail." Ahahahahahahahhaha. Dude, one time he talked a man into being dead over the phone. This is nothing.

NATE NO YOU CANNOT SELL HIM A FAKE SPRUCE GOOSE YOU HAVE BEEN IN TOWN LESS THAN 24 HOURS. "Is that even a real law?" Nate: *shrugs*

And it's based on a scam Sophie used to sell the Brooklyn Bridge the year they met, AND SHE THINKS IT'S ROMANTIC. And I AM PRETTY SURE THAT'S WHY NATE DID IT. Nate Ford, what is even with your face.

I like that Parker's pairing system is Nate/Sophie, Hardison/Eliot, and Parker/money.

Ahahahahahahaha and then Nate admits he knows nothing about running a theater, and Sophie WILL NOT TELL HIM. Because Sophie Devereaux is just as evil as her manfriend, and looks a million times hotter in a dress oh God now Hardison and Sophie are Russian gangsters.

Aw, man, if the IDs got made, that means no more Annie Kroy. That breaks my heart, you guys.

I just--I say this every year, and I mean it every year: I love all their little criminal faces, and Hardison, Eliot, and Parker will never not be a joy, but for real: Nate Ford is my co-pilot. He is surly, murderous, frequently drunk--though 40 minutes in, he has not touched a drop of booze--terrible at human emotions that are not rage or vengeance, full of hubris, sarcastic, and amazing. Nate Ford is the literal definition of "chaotic good". Nate Ford is an archangel with a fifth of Chivas and a collection of hats, AND THAT IS WHY HE IS THE BEST. There are people who do not like him! I legitimately do not know how that works!

"[Nate's] like one of those aliens that feeds off people's fear." VALID.

--so we're all agreed that Hardison, by himself, could fake a moon landing, right? Because that's kind of what he did here. And then OH SHIT Y'ALL Nate just cold punches him in the head so Cary Elwes can think he crashed the Spruce Motherfucking Goose.

Oh, man, Nate and Sophie are still terrible at feelings when other people are in the immediate vicinity, and Eliot SPIT OUT A MICROBREW. Found crime families, y'all. I MISSED YOU, SHOW.

--aaaaaaaaaand then OH SHIT HARDISON WHAT ARE YOU AND NATE UP TO?
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