"When you've got a group of guys sitting around shirtless and one guy isn't, staring at everybody else, who's the weird one? The guy wearing a shirt. Take your pants off."

"Hey, hey. I'm not comfortable calling it 'a relationship'. Let's just call it dating."

DEAR INTERNETS, I HAVE DEVELOPED A SAM WITWER PROBLEM, PLS SEND HELP.

You guys! He's from Glenview, home of the illustrious Patrick Stump! He's a Star Wars dork! He GAMES! He's been running a game with seven other dudes since 2000. HE TALKS ABOUT HOW HE'S A BETTER GM THAN HE USED TO BE. He remembers when SW used a d6 system! He made a DVD prologue for a game session using the Star Wars scroll from the movies, and he programmed it himself. They rent a house in Illinois and just game for four days straight! SAM WITWER IS BASICALLY MY OLD GM SEAN FROM PENNSYLVANIA.

Also, he is hot as shit, and manages to have really chiseled, masculine features, while simultaneously having an almost feminine mouth. But I will tell you right now, that is not as hot to me as the fact that he has really strong opinions about people BSing their character sheets.

I. Am. So. Fucked.
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